Fire & Ice
by Ashjen2010
Summary: Hawke is a woman who thinks she knows what she wants, but can she be so sure that even she really knows her own heart?
1. Chapter 1

This is my first attempt at a fan fiction, so comments and suggestions are most welcome. I'm not really paying close attention to grammar, spelling I'm trying my best for only having notepad so be patient with me :).

I don't own the characters they all belong to Bioware.

Enjoy! 3

She was fire and ice, compassionate and deadly, the calm before the storm. She was Aliceira Hawke (Alice to her family and friends) and she was no ordinary woman. Or so Varric said. Wheter she believed it or not was yet to be seen. Yes as a warrior she could weild a sword in deadly fashion, even more so as a trained and skilled beserker, but she didn't see herself as anything beyond ordinary. But here she was, Champion of Kirkwall, the great and powerful Hawke as her friends called her when they thought she wasn't listening. Sometimes she wished she felt like the woman Varric portrayed in his valliant stories. The firey eyed, white haired, goddess of death. He made her sound invincible, and oh how she wished she felt that way, especially now. Sighing heavily as she leaned back in the chair at her desk she stared down at her journal. Her records of what had really happened in her years in Kirkwall, beginning to end. She knew they we're scewed by her predjudice and her lack of self confidence, but as far as she was concerned it was the most accurate accounts. She reached out and picked up the journal, opening its well worn pages she skimmed over the fist few. The fall of Lothering and the loss of Carver was still too tender for her to read. No matter how many times she was told it wasn't her fault she couldn't bring herself to believe their words. He was her baby brother, Bethany's other half, and she had failed him. But that was a different time, a different story. She skimmed over her first year in Kirkwall, the struggles she had getting her family and Avaline into the city. Her time as a mercernary was not a pleasant one, and she regretted pulling Bethany into it. Beth was such a gentle soul and not the sword for hire type like she was. She had left Beth to look out for Mother when she could help it, but she still couldn't get the thought that she had made the wrong choice out of her mind. She continued skimming until she found the place she was looking for. It was just after her year as a mercernary was completed, and she was looking to make some coin to help get her family out of that hovel her uncle called home. She had heard a rumor about an expedition into the deep roads and was determined to be a part of it. She smiled as she began to read:

I couldn't believe it. I had dragged Bethany all the way to hightown to meet that sodding dwarf, and he had all but laughed in our faces. I could hear Beth's conserned sigh as I turned and stormed of towards lowtown, intending to get drunk...very, very drunk. I wanted to forget the dwarfs words, the feeling that I was inadequate to accompany his expedition. I was so lost in my own mind that I almost didn't realize that someone had just rammed into me, streaking off in the opposite direction. I brushed it off but automatically reached down for the meager bag of coins I kept at my belt, and quickly spun around when I realized that he hadn't run into me by accident.

"Hey! Stop!" I screeched in the direction of the thief. Just as I was reaching for my greatsword and take chase of the thief, I heard the unmistakeable sound of a crossbow, and flinched as the thief was pinned to a wall a bolt in his shoulder. I was mildly taken aback as a dwarf stepped out of the shadows, a crossbow in his hands. He walked right up to the thief appraising him casually, and I listened carefully when he began to speak.

"Awfully brave of you to be scoping Hightown in broad daylight dontchya think?" I could tell by the way the dwarf spoke that he knew how to turn a phrase and he knew how to do it well. I heard the dwarf begin to speak and I returned my attention to his words.

"You may want to find a new day job my friend." With that he snatched the coin purse out of the thiefs hand, ripped the bolt out of his shoulder, and shooed him on his way. He turned towards Beth and I with a mischevious grin. "I overheard you speaking with my numbskull of a brother, and I think I may know a way to help you out." He tossed my coin purse as he was speaking. I caught it marvelling at the suave way he handled himself, he wasn't like any dwarf I had ever met. He had no beard, unusual for a dwarf, his crossbow was a marvellous piece of work beautifully crafted and cared for, and he seemed to have a brazen love for his chest hair seeing as it was proudly on display for the world to see. I nodded my thanks to him as he continued his speach.

"My name is Varric, and he nodded to his crossbow, and this is Bianca. And my brother wouldn't know a good thing if it came up and bit him on the ass. However, I do. You have made quite a name for yourself here in Kirkwall, and I think you are just what this expedition needs. We don't need another hireling, what we need is a partner. If you we're to bring gold to the table Bartrand would have no choice but to take you with us."

"And how do you suggest we go about retrieving the amount of gold necessary?" I had only just met this dwarf, but I couldn't help but find myself willing to trust him.

"You leave that to me my friend, and we will have all the gold needed within a couple of weeks. Come by my suite at the Hanged Man later tonight and we will talk somemore." And with that, Varric turned and walked back in the direction of his brother and the rest of his party, only pausing briefly to wink at both of them.

"That was the strangest thing thats happened to us yet I think." Beth giggled as she looked towards me. "Do you think we can trust him to help us?"

"I think so Beth. He seems like he's genuinely interested in helping us out. Here's what we will do, I will go and talk to Meeran to reassign my final mission, I will say something came up with the family. Would you be willing to stay with Mom and make sure Gamlen doesn't do anything stupid tonight? I will go and talk with Varric, I know how much you dislike the Hanged Man."

"Of course sister. Mother likes it best when I'm home anyway, and I enjoy her company."

With that we walked back to our hovel hand in hand, ready for what the City of Chains had in store for us next.

Alice sighed as she turned the page, remembering how innocent those first days we're. Before Kirkwall drained her of everything. As she reached the top of the next page she lost herself again in memory.

"Are you sure you want to go alone?"

"Yes Beth I'm sure. Mother needs you here more that I do, I'm just going to the Hanged Man to discuss business. What could happen its not that far from here and its not even dark yet. Don't you worry about me I'll be fine." I chuckled at my sisters worrysome nature. I knew why she was so worried, only having just lost Carver, she wasn't willing to lose me either. I strapped my greatsword to my back as I headed for the front door. I called over my shoulder as I opened it, "I won't be to long, but if it gets too late don't wait up for me Beth."

"If I know you my dear sister, you won't be home at all tonight." She said it with her knowing smile, and I knew she was probably right.

"We shall see dearest Beth. Be safe." And with that I headed off for the Hanged Man.

As I pushed my way through the Hanged Man I spotted Varric at a table in the back, and made my way towards him. A wide smile spread acrossed his face when we locked eyes, and I knew we we're going to be great friends. He motioned for me to join him, and I took the seat opposite from him as he pushed a tankard towards me.

"So Varric, what do you have in mind for our little business venture?"

"Well Hawke, do you mind if I call you Hawke? Its so much easier than your name...what was it again?"

"Aliceira, and Alice or Hawke will be just fine by me."

"Hawke will work I think. Well Hawke, I have a system of contacts throughout the city, and as you know Kirkwall is a magnet for trouble, I think a person like you is just what this city needs. Someone to act on behalf of the citizens of Kirkwall, someone to fight for them...basically someone to fix their problems. I know where to find them, how to connect you with them, and I am willing to help you every step of the way? What do you say?"

"And what is in this for you Varric? I don't see much benefit on your behalf?"

"I get a good story my dear. Nothing is better than an epic portrayal of a beautiful heroine fighting against insurmountable odds to save a city she barely knows! That is pleanty reward for me."

"Ah, so you are a story teller, I see; and do you think I am worthy of being an epic heroine?"

"I think you can do anything with a handsome dwarven sidekick and his beautiful crossbow."

"Well then Varric, where do we start."

As the night wore on we discussed our plan of action. First we would need to find a layout of the deep roads. There was no point in wandering around darkspawn infested passageways without knowing where we we're going, and the ever daunting prospect of getting lost with no way out. Luckily Varric had a remedy for that, I was starting to believe there was nothing that dwarf couldn't do. His contacts had told him that they had heard of a Grey Warden taking refuge in Darktown. A Grey Warden we hoped would have a better understanding of the deep roads than they had any hope of ever having. The next challange was finding said Grey Warden, if he even existed. Varric suggested we started with Lirene, a woman who was known for helping Ferelden refugees. He had said if anyone knew where they could find a Grey Warden, it would be her. They parted ways that evening with the plans to meet up the following day to track down Lirene. I left the Hanged Man only minorly drunk, ok maybe a little more than minorly (and here Alice stopped to chuckle at the way the words wobbled on the page, indicating that she indeed was more than just a little drunk), and ready to concour the world. Or so I thought, maybe just concouring the door handle on Gamlen's house, that seemed like a more feesible goal. Once I had finally made it through the door, making what I thought was as little noise as possible (I later found out it was equal to a herd of dragonlings) I recieved a sharp reprimanding from Gamlen as he grumbled about not being a post office and letters had arrived for me in my absence. I stumbled over to the desk intending on reading the letters, but just managed to tip over the ink well and smear it all over my face, I decided those would best be left for the morning...everything would be better in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

When I woke the next morning I was pleasantly suprised to be less hungover than expected. I had to chalk it up to excitement at my prospected evening events. I stumbled out of bed, and as I was going about my morning rituals I vaguely remembered the letters on the desk that I had attempted to read the night before. As I headed for the desk, I realized it must have been a little later in the day than I had earlier summized seeing as the house was empty save for Cookie, my faithful Mabari who was snoozing by the remains of last nights fire. I really needed to take him out and let him run sometime soon. A small Kirkwall hovel was no place for a Mabari used to the open fields of Ferelden. Cookie huffed at me as I exited the room I share with Beth and crossed the small living space to the desk. Maker I had really made a mess of the thing in my drunken stupor, but thankfully someone came along and cleaned most of it up this morning. I made a mental note to thank Mother, or Beth, or both of them. The amount of noise I must of made last night warranted that at the very least. I settled in to read my missives, and Cookie came and laid his big drooling head in my lap. Most of the letters turned out to be advertisments for this sale or this service, but one in particular epecially caught my attention. It was a brief letter, not stating much information past "A shipment of precious cargo has been stolen, and we are hoping to receive your assistance in retrieving it. If you are interested in offering your assistance a dwarf by the name of Anso will be waiting for you in the Lowtown market after nightfall. Speak with Anso for further information." My interest was piqued at the possibility of gathering coin for the expedition and made a mental not to speak with Varric to see what he had to say about helping Anso out with his little problem. I checked myself in the mirror, chuckling when I noticed what was left of the ink I had managed to smear on my face, cleaned it off and headed in the direction of the Vicount's Keep. I had a few hours to kill before I was to go see Varric and figured I would see how Avaline was getting on in the city guard.

"Hawke!" I chuckled at how everyone seemed intent on calling me by my surname instead of my first, but smiled warmly at the woman in front of me.

"I see you are getting on quite well. How is the city guard treating you my friend?"

"This city is a mess. Crime is rampant in the streets, Ferelden refugees are everywhere, and no one has any regard for the law! Its a mess!"

"You can't fool me Avaline, you know you love it."

"You're right Hawke, I wouldn't have it any other way. Speaking of duty, I could use your help on something Hawke?"

"Anything you need Avaline."

"I've received word of a party of caravan raiders on the Wounded Coast, and I was hoping you would go with me to take care of them before anything terrible happens?"

"Of course. I have someone I think we could take with us who would be a lot of help on this one. He seems pretty handy in a pinch."

"Can we trust him Hawke? I don't want to take someone along on guard business that I cannot trust."

"I see no reason not to Avaline. He saved Beth and I in a pickle with a thief, and he's helping us get in on an expedition that could pull Mother out of that hovel Gamlen calls a home. I'm sure he's trustworthy, he just has that feeling about him."

"Well Hawke if you trust him, I trust him. How soon can we be off."

"We'll head to the Hanged Man now and see if he wants to come along. I have business with him this evening anyway, we have to hunt us down a Grey Warden."

"Alright Hawke. Lets be off. I want to take this care of as soon as possible, I would hate to see anyone get hurt."

I waited as Avaline gathered up her sword and shield, saddening a little as I watched her pick up Wesley's shield which she still carried, a reminder of what the Blight had truly cost her. In the time I have known Avaline I've come to care for her as family. She had been through just as much as we had, lost just as much, and yet she remained so strong. A pillar in my life as I liked to think of her, a true friend. I smiled to myself as we headed off for the Hanged Man to recruit Varric for our little day jaunt, Avaline may scare most but I knew better. Underneath her tough exterior she was a caring person, loyal to her core. Willing to fight for you no matter the cost if she counted you family, which Hawke was lucky to be one of those few she let into her inner circle. We traveled in a companionable silence, just enjoying one anothers company as we walked through the city. Kirkwall wasn't much to look at, its years of grandeur long gone. Nowadays it was nothing more than bad memories and illusions of prosperity. When they arrived at the Hanged Man they found Varric at his usual table, an ale in his hand and his carrying voice telling one of his tales to the patrons who had gathered. When he spotted her he shooed his listeners away promising to finish the tale later and beconned her over with a smile.

"Hawke, to what do I owe the pleasure. You're a little early for our reconnasence meeting, is everything ok? And who is your lovely friend." I chuckled at the slight scowl on Avaline's face at Varrics comment. "This is my friend Avaline, she's a fellow refugee from Ferelden. We escaped the blight together. Avaline, this is Varric. He is helping Beth and I find a place on his brothers Deep Roads expedition."

"A pleasure to meet you Avaline. And what can I do for you lovely ladies today? I hope its nothing too serious?"

"Would you like to explain Avaline, or would you like me to?"

"Allow me Hawke." I listened as she explained our mission. Avaline had a clear and consise way of getting business done, and in only a matter of moments she had explained our goal thoroughly to Varric.

"Well, what are we waiting for ladies? It seems we have some bad guys to take care of." And with that he gathered up Bianca and they headed for the Wounded Coast.

The trip to the Wounded Coast took most of the afternoon. We pleasantly chatted about many things, giving Varric time to get to know us better. It was a little after midday when we decided to stop and have our little lunch Avaline had had the head to pack. They munched on their bread and cheese and listened as Varric told tales of the Hero of Ferelden. The sat in the shade and rested for a bit, enjoying the tales that Varric could so easily weave. I was in awe of Varrics ability to spin a tale, Avaline and I could no longer tell fact from fiction in his stories, and you could tell that neither of them cared. I was pulled from the sound of Varric's voice by Avaline clearing her throat.

"Well as much as I'm enjoying your tale Varric, there are some bandits that need to be taken care of. We should be off."

"You're right Avaline, we should get going."

We gathered up our stuff and set off the rest of the way to the ambush site. Once we we're getting in the area Avaline had told us they would be I spoke up.

"Avaline, where exactly is this ambush site? I don't think we should be caught unaware by anyone. It would be best if we scouted the area out to make sure the advantage is on our side."

"Good idea Hawke. The ambush site is just over this ridge, we should be able to head up that bank to the right and have a good view of the layout so we're not running in blind."

"Alright, Varric you and I will head up the ridge to scout the ambush site, Avaline will you stay here and make sure no one cathces us off guard?"

"Ok Hawke, but be careful and make it quick. We want to be able to catch them off guard."

"We'll make it quick Aveline."

Varric and I crept up the ridge to find the bandits laying their traps. There we're quite a few of them, but not too many that we couldn't handle them. We assesed the situation and seeing it to be in our favor to perform a sneak attack we headed back to Avaline to formulate the plan. We all came together, and when we had the plan compleated we headed into the clearing to take care of the bandits once and for all. Once the battle had begun they realized there were more of them than they had originally thought, but they managed to make it through the battle basically unscathed. Nothing a few elfroot potions wouldn't cover.

"Well, that was certainly something. Capitan Jevan should hear about this. Any guard on patrol that would have come across this alone wouldn't have walked away from it alive. I can't believe he wouldn't want to know about this. Lets get back to the Keep quickly."

They traveled in haste, Avaline's determination driving them. They made it back to the city gates at dusk and hurried up to the Keep.

"Wait here guys while I talk to Capitan Jevan. It shouldn't take long to update him on the situation."

We nodded our agreement and settled in to wait for her. Not more than five minutes had passed before we heard yelling coming from the Capitan's office. We listened intently to see if we could catch what they we're saying. We didn't have to wait long, the door to the office burst open expelling both Avaline and Jevan. Jevan was yelling at the top of his voice,

"It was not your place guardwoman. I make the patrols not you! Step out of line like that again and I will see you removed from your position, understand!"

"Understood capitan"

"Dismissed guardswoman."

I could tell that Avaline was furious. I knew from my time with the woman that she didn't take things like this very well. She was a strong woman, but devout in her ways of right and wrong. Just as I was about to speak up another guardswoman came up and began to address Avaline.

"Guardswoman Avaline. Thank you so much for covering my patrol, I had heard that it was you that took care of it right?"

"Brennan, that was your patrol?"

"Yes, and if you hadn't have taken care of it I'm sure I wouldn't be here."

"Not a problem Brennan. Did you happen to see anything strange on your last patrol?"

"Well the satchel was a little heavier than usual, but other than that no."

"Who has the satchel now Brennan? Who did you pass it to?"

"Guardsman Donnic. He has it for his patrol tonight."

"Thank you Brennan."

With that Brennan walked off to join her comrades, and Avaline turned to us.

"Guardsman Donnic, I know him. He's a good man. We should see what patrol he's on, I have a feeling that his quiet patrol is not going to be as quiet as I expect it to be."


	3. Chapter 3

They checked the guard roster to find out that Donnic had the Lowtown patrol tonight. Dusk had just fallen, so the guards would have just begun their patrols, if they moved quickly they could possibly make it before anything horrid could happen.

"This could get you in even more trouble, are you sure you want to do this Avaline?"

"If Jeven is misusing his place, I have to know Hawke. If he is using his power and expending guardsmen I have to do something about it. I can't stand by and watch."

"Alright then Avaline, lets get to Lowtown and find guardsman Donnic."

We headed off for Lowtown as fast as our feet could carry us. It helped to have Avaline with us, her knowledge of the patrols helped exceedingly. We found him rather quickly, he was surrounded by several bandits and had been knocked to the ground. Avaline jumped on them before Varric and I even had a chance to draw our weapons, but seconds later we joined her in the fray. It didn't take long to dispatch the offenders, and Avaline ran to check on her fellow guardsman while Varric and I rifled through the satchel he had dropped. She could hear Avaline and Donnic carrying on a conversation, she was making sure he was alright, and he seemed to escape the ordeal mostly unscathed.

"Avaline, you should see this." I showed her the papers that had been in the satchel. They we're political papers, obvious evidence of missuse of power. Avaline was turning various shades of red as she sifted through them.

"Jeven will pay for this believe me. I will bring this to the Viscount first thing in the morning. Guardsman Donnic, do you need help back to the barracks?"

"No thank you Avaline, I think I can make it on my own. Thank you, all of you for your help."

With that he headed off in the direction of the keep, Avaline shouting after him to make sure he sought medical attention when he got there.

"Well, that certainly was an adventure." Varric spoke up for the first time in awhile. "Whats on the agenda now Hawke. After all that excitement I'm not sure I can sleep quite yet."

"I'm with Varric on this one Hawke, I don't think I could sleep after all this."

"Well, I do think I have a remedy for that. Anybody interested in meeting a dwarf named Anso about a stolen delivery? He's here in Lowtown so we wont have far to go."

There was a murmur of agreement from my companions, so we headed off to find Anso and see if we could help him with his little problem. Anso was a jumpy dwarf, having only been on the surface for a little while. He explained the situation, and we agreed to help him out. He said we could find the theifs in the alienage here in Lowtown. He wanted us to find the shipment, and nothing more. Avaline was not too keen on the idea of recovering stolen property, which was probably illegal anyway, but she still agreed to help. So, we headed off to do someone elses dirty work yet again, but the coin was good, and they needed it for the expedition so she wasn't about to turn it down. We made it to the hideout in the alienage and dispatched the men hidden there, but when we opened the chest that supposedly housed the stolen goods, it was empty. I was furious, I couldn't believe that we had just done all of that for a dead end. I could hear Varric and Avaline's noises of dischord behind her as she stormed out the door and back into the alienage. We were not prepaired for the ambush that awaited once we were outside. They seemed to yammer on, something about an elf, and killing anyone who exited the house. I thought it was a bit strange, but we managed to dispatch them without receiving any major injury. I couldn't believe that this many people were guarding an empty chest looking for an elf, but just as we were about to round the corner our path was cut off. He began to ramble on about something, calling for his leuitenant, but before we could clarify, a man bleeding extensively stumbled around the corner, and an elf stepped stepped over him and moved towards the capitan. I had to repress the gasp that had risen to my throat. He was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. His snow white hair that covered his eyes, which dispite the darkness of the area I could see where a beautiful shade of green; and those tatoo's. I had never seen someone so beautiful, if I could truly call a man beautiful. I had to shake myself out of my reverie, and barely had time to grasp his words, watching as his hand and arm began to glow and he shoved his fist straight through the slavers chest. I was shocked to see this, but tried to keep it from showing on my face. This elf was dangerous despite his appearances, or so he seemed and I couldn't be too careful for the sake of my companions. I couldn't help but marvel at the gravelly tone of his voice as he began to speak.

"My Apologies. When I contacted Anso about finding a worthy distraction for the slavers, I had no idea there would be so many of them." I pulled myself out of my revery in time to respond to his statement.

"They were here because of you?"

"Yes. My name is Fenris, and these men were employed by a Tevinter Magistrate, my former master, to return stolen property to him. Namely myself. They had laid a trap in hopes of catching me, and as unskilled as their methods were I was no match for them on my own. I can see now that Anso chose my help wisely."

"If slavers were truly trying to recapture you, I am glad we stepped in. They deserve everything they received for their actions." At this the elf, Fenris, smiled slightly.

"I haven't come acrossed many people who would profess to share in your sentiments. Most people are just out for the coin, which from your actions I can see you are not. Pardon my curiosity, but what was in the chest? The one the slavers were guarding." He seemed genuinely interested in knowing, and I hated to have to tell him.

"There was nothing in it when I arrived." The look on his face at those words was alomst heartbreaking, I couldn't stop myself from wondering what he had been hoping for.

"Ah, well I suppose it was too much to hope for." I couldn't stop myself from asking after this enigmatic statement.

"What were you hoping was in the chest?"

"Nothing, it was silly of me to hope. They used it to bait me into the open, that is all." I could tell from his tone I wouldn't be hearing what he was hoping for. So I tried a different tactic to get information out of him.

"If you needed help, you could have just asked you know...for my help. You didn't have to lie."

"I haven't decided if that is true or not yet." With that he stooped down and began to dig in the pack of the dead capitan, finding what he was looking for he stood up with a look of disgust on his face. "Its as I expected, my former master is here in the city. He accompanied these men on their mission to recapture me. I know it is a lot to ask, and you have questions of me, but I must find him before he flees the city. I could greatly use your help." He looked at all of us with a hopeful expression.

"I could never let slavers take another human being, its not right." I could hear the murmurs of approval from my companions, and I knew they were with me on this mission. As eager as I was to see slavers pay for their crimes.

"I will repay you someday, I swear it. My former maste will be staying at his mansion in Hightown, can you meet me there as soon as possible? I would hate for him to slip through my grasp now. We must enter before morning, or risk being seen."

"Of course, we will be right behind you Fenris."

With that we split up, planning to meet near the mansion in Hightown. We headed off in the opposite direction of the elf, warranting time for the three of us to speak on our journey acrossed Kirkwall. I turned to my companions intent on getting their imput.

"So Avaline, Varric, what do you think about all of this?" Avaline was the first to speak up.

"I'm with you Hawke, slavers deserve their fate for their crimes against humanity. We have to stop them before they can hurt more people. Fenris may have run away, but we have to help him reclaim his freedom, if we don't we are no better than they are."

"I agree with both of you," Vaiic chimed in. "Besides I'm getting tired of my old stories, and with an elf like this Fenris around, I have a feeling life won't be dull for long. He would make an excellent addition, what with his dashingly beautiful looks and warrior strenght, not to mention exotic glowing tattoos. I can definately work with that." He gave me a knowing look which I pointedly ignored.

"Well then lets get a move on, don't want to keep a magister waiting now do we?"

We crossed the remainder of Kirkwall quite quickly, and found Fenris waiting for them just up the steps to the Hightown estates. As we got closer I heard him speak.

"No one has left the estate, or entered it for that matter. All has been quiet, not even a sound from within. Denarius may suspect that I know he is here, and may very well be waiting for us. I wouldn't expect anything less from him."

"He may have secured the mansion with magical traps and defenses."

"That will not stop me from getting to him. Let's go."

With that they neared the magistrates mansion and readied themselves for what lay inside. They burst through the door of the too quiet mansion. I held up my hand, a sign that we should use caution. I silently crossed to the nearest door and gently pushed it open, but just as I was about to step forward into the next room I heard Varric hiss from behind me.

"Hawke, you're not going to want to do that. There's a trap on the floor right where you are about to step. Here let me take care of it for you."

I marvelled at Varric's abilities. I hadn't even seen the trap and he had just saved me from one nasty lecture from my sister when I would have to explain to her why she was reattatching my arm. I gave Varric a look of thanks, he smiled in return. I was amazed at how much could be said in just looks between the two of us. We had only known each other for 24 hours and we could already have silent conversations. It was a marvel indeed, my sister and I couldn't even pull that off very well. I pulled myself out of my reverie and stepped into the room. No sooner were we all in the room than it was overrun with Shades. Great, Shades, my favorite. I watched as my small group set on them like wild dogs, Fenris cleaving them clean in two with single presise swings of his greatsword. I was right to think that he was stronger than his small frame showed. They slashed their way through the seemingly neverending shade, and when the last one fell she heard Fenris yell.

"He sends spirits to fight in his stead, how typical." And then he seemed to address the walls of the mansion with his upraised voice. "Do you hear me Denarius, I'm coming for you, and no matter how many of your pets you send they cannot save you. You will fall by my hand Denarius, that much I promise you."

They fought their way through the remainder of the mansion. More shades and even a few rage demons standing in their way but they seemed to have no problems with them, none too major anyway. Once they found their way into the main hall of the mansion, they came across the heaviest population of the demons. They made it through without any major injury amazingly and once the last demon fell Fenris sprinted up the stairs to the door in the middle at the top. Finding it locked, Varric took a look at it and soon had it swinging open so they could enter. The minute the door opened an Arcane Horror appeared, and I had to groan internally. I was exhausted at this point, and I knew my companions were too. We had been fighting all day and now this. It was perfect (massive sarchasm here). It took awhile, most of their elfroot and stamina potions, and all of them working toghether but the massive demon finally fell. The minute it hit the floor Fenris tore through the door the demon had come from. Finding it empty he turned and spoke.

"He's...gone. I was truly hoping...ah well it doesn't matter I guess. Denarius must have left some valuables behind, its the best I can do for payment, feel free to take what you wish. I..need some air, I will meet you outside once you are finished." I could tell he was extremely dissapointed, and watched him as he walked out of the house slamming the door behind him. We picked through a few chest, not taking everything of value, leaving some for Fenris himself and walked outside to find him leaning against the side of the mansion entryway. He looked at me when I exited and I could see the anguish and anger in his face when he began to speak.

"I escaped Tevinter and all of its evil magic just to have it follow me and haunt my steps. It is etched into my soul, and my flesh and I cannot scratch it out. There is nothing good that magic hasn't spoiled, myself included, and I will fight it until my dying breath. But I am rambling, thank you for your assistance, I wouldn't have been able to do it alone. If you ever have need of me you can find me here, I owe you a debt and I will be at your disposal."

"You are welcome Fenris. However I hope you know that I do ally myself with the mages. My sister is one of them, and I do not wish to put either you nor her in a position of discomfort or danger. Do you think you will be able to work with her and not jepordize he or your safety and wellbeing?"

"I do not see where that will be a problem as of yet Hawke. And I apologize if I seem ungrateful, for there is nothing further from the truth. I hope you will be able to understand my distrust of mages and their magic, but I promise you that no harm will come of your sister or any ally you may have, I trust you and your judgment. Again thank you Hawke, if you ever need me you know where to look."

And with that we nodded our farewell and he retreated back into the mansion. I looked at my companions that we're left at my side and we all exchanged looks, equal to goodbyes and parted ways until the morning, having already made arrangements with Avaline to meet at the Keep in the morning. I stumbled off to Gamlen's absolutely exhausted, my mind wandering over the events of the day and evening. I caught myself remembering pieces of Fenris' speach and the way he shaded his eyes with his hair when he was talking, as though he was hiding from the world. I couldn't help but wonder at him and his story. I was intrigued by the elf, and needless to say (though I wouldn't admit it to myself) more than a little attracted to him. But those we're thought for a different time, now it was time to sleep. There would be pleanty of time to think tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

I awoke the next morning feeling like I had been run over by a Bronto. My head ached, my muscles ached, everything ached. Laying in bed I thought back over all the events of the day before and I couldn't believe everything we had accomplished. Bandits, slavers, demons, and a dirty politician all in one day. That had to be a new record. I grudgingly swung my legs out of bed and began to get myself ready. Avaline would be expecting me at the Keep and it was best not to keep the burly guardswoman waiting, she became extremely testy when you kept her waiting. If I had to admit it to myself I was a little more than intrugued at finding out what the Guardcapitan would have to say for himself, the papers that were inside the satchel were ultimately very incriminating. I strapped my brestplate into place, sheathed my greatsword at my back and I was on my way to the keep. As I headed for the door, I paused briefly to say hello to Mother and Bethany. I felt bad for leaving Beth behind, but I knew deep down she was happier staying behind with Mother than trapsing around Kirkwall with me. After my brief conversation with them, where both Mother and Bethany expressed their worries about my safety and wellbeing, I said goodbye. The walk to the Keep didn't take long so I took my time, watching the citizens of Kirkwall going about their daily business. I was amazed at how many people this city could truly house. It seemed to be bursting at the seems and yet everyone had carved a nieche for themselves, or had seemed to, except for those poor people in darktown. Crammed in like rats, living in disgusting, festering conditions. I made a promise to myself that if I ever made it, if this deep roads expedition worked, I would fund some money to clean up darktown and make in an inhabitable place for my fellow Fereldens. I found myself at the stairs to the Keep, my thought process making the journey seem like it had only taken mere moments. I climed the stairs and found Avaline waiting for me just inside. "Hawke, one more minute and I would have gone to get you." The stern words didn't reach her eyes, and I knew that was her way of saying she was glad to see me. "Glad to see you too Avaline. Are you ready to enter the viper pit?" I couldn't mistake the mischevious glint in the warriors eyes as she responeded.  
>"Ready as I'll ever be, lets go." We headed to the guards quarters Avaline leading, and what happened next I will summerize as it all happened so fast I don't think I could remember it if I could. Avaline had already brought her case to the Viscount, and they were beyond ready to have the Guardcapitan removed from his post. However the Viscount wanted to see if the man would deny the claims or admit to being caught. Needless to say by the time the confrontation was over, Jeven had to be dragged screaming from the room, threatening Avaline with every bit of breath he had in him. She just stood, stoic as a statue and watched as justice was being carried out, what she believed was her one truest mission in life. I couldn't bring to words how awestruck and proud I was of the strength I saw in my friend; and I wasn't the least bit suprised when they named her Guardcapitan in Jeven's stead. Of course she accepted the role gladly, and I left her with words of congradulations and promises to visit her once she had a chance to settle in. I stepped out of her office and into the main hall, smiling at how far my friend had truly come. It had been a long journey for her, losing Wesley however had just made her stronger and more determined, and I knew there was nothing she couldn't do.<br>By now it was well past mid-day, and seeing as Varric had told me that in no way was he stirring from his suite until that evening, I decided I would go and see how Fenris had settled in. It wasn't far from the Keep to his "borrowed" mansion, so I headed off. I knocked on the door, and although I received no answer, I entered anyway. "Fenris..?" I called as I entered the foyer, marvelling at the silence in the large house.  
>"I am here." The response came from the main room at the top of the stairs. I noticed as I made my way through the house that the corpses still littered the floor, and made mental note to have them disposed of as soon as I could. I stepped into the room to find him sitting with his feet on the table, a bottle of wine in his hands. I was struck at his features, the fire turing his stark white hair into their own mirror image of the dancing flames, the same dancing light playing in his eyes. "Aggregio Parvali," he indicated the wine bottle in his hands, "I found it in the cellar. Denarius used to have me pour it for his guests, he said my apperance intimidated them. A fact which I know he found much enjoyment in."<br>I have no idea what brought me to say it, but I couldn't help it. I kicked myself for days afterwords I felt so dumb, I was glad at his reaction at the time mind you. "I rather like your apperance Fenris, I cannot imagine why they would be." He smiled as he responded.  
>"You say what you are thinking, that much is clear." There was no tone of distaste in his voice. Then out of no where I had to suppress the urge to jump as he turned and lobbed the bottle of wine at the wall. It shattered in a million pieces, deep purple running down the walls and onto the floor. I looked up to see a wide sneer spreading across his face. "I'm glad I can still find pleasure in the simple things of life." I found myself thinking how hard it must be for him, his life had been far from easy, but my natural defense mechanism kicked in. Humor.<br>"Well, that seemed to be a waste, you could have at least offered me some." He smiled at this.  
>"There are more bottles in the cellar if you wish."<br>"Oh no, perish the thought, how on earth would you be able to redecorate the walls if I drank it all." To my suprise this warrented a laugh, not just a chuckle, not just a smile, but a full on real laugh. The sound was like music, a suprising change from his grough speaking voice, but all too soon he had grown serious again. "I've attempted to leave my past behind me, but it refuses to stay there. Tell me, have you never wanted to return home. To Ferelden I mean?" His question took me a little off guard and I pondered my answer a moment before speaking.  
>"I have no home to return to, the Blight saw to that."<br>"The Blight is over, you could rebuild. Regain your old life. Do you not want to?"  
>"It has crossed my mind from time to time. I like the idea sometime in the future maybe."<br>"But not yet, I understand. To have to option however, that must be comforting, to have to option to go back wether you want to or not."  
>"Do you think you are going to make Kirkwall your home, stay here in the city?"<br>"I haven't decided yet. It seems like as good a city as any. I would return home if I could, but I know there is no life for me there anymore." I could feel the pain he was hiding about his past. We sit and talked a little longer, about his life before (he couldn't remember well), Denarius, and various other points in his life. He had spoken of Denarius, and I knew that beyond a shadow of a doubt he would find the magistrate and he would fall by the ex slaves hands; and we had spoken that on the day he finds him that I would not let him face his former master alone. By now it was much later than when I had arrived and night had fallen. We had fallen into a companionable silence, and I was amazed at how comfortable I was around my new companions. It was as if they were meant to be a part of my life. I was pulled from my thoughts by Fenris speaking.  
>"I suppose I should thank you again. Without your help with the hunters I don't know what would have happened. If I had known Anso would find someone so capable, I would have asked for help sooner." There it goes again, my mouth spoke before my brain could stop it. Mental note to self: NO MORE WINE. "Words are cheap." I could feel my ears turning red, but Fenris didn't seemed to mind. In fact he flashed one of his smiles, the ones that made me stomach knot. "Is that the case now? Perhaps I will work on my flattery for your next visit. You never know, I may become better at it. But it is getting late, I would hate for you to get into trouble on your journey back to Lowtown." He gave me a look that conveyed that he knew I could handle myself, he was just concerned for my safety, and I nodded. Mother would be worried if I came in late yet again, and I know her, Bethany, and Cookie would be glad for some time with me this evening. We said our goodbyes and I headed off to my home sweet hovel for the evening. <div> 


	5. Chapter 5

I awoke the next morning feeling a great deal better than I thought I would. The evening at Fenris' was just what I had needed, a moment to speak with my newest companion to get to know him better. I laid in bed contemplating what I should do with the day, and I realized that I hadn't had a chance to spend some time with my family since I'd been trying to get in on the expedition. So I got dressed in my simple clothes and went to round them up. I spent the morning with Mother, Beth, and Cookie, running some simple errands around Kirkwall. It was nice to have some time with my family, Mother seemed happier in times like these. The morning passed by quickly,and Mother and Beth had some simple things to do at home, most of which involved mending small clothes and shirts. So I decided to head off to the Hanged Man to visit with Varric. I strapped on my equipment and was heading out the door when I heard Cookie whine and huff behind me. I felt bad for the lack of attention the poor thing had been receiving lately so I patted my leg, inviting him to come along. He trotted eagerly ahead of me, bounding through the streets of Lowtown. I giggled at his puppylike behavior knowing that it was good for him to be free for a little while, and making a mental note to take him out to the coast and let him run for awhile. I thought I'd see if Varric would like to come with us this afternoon, heaven knows it would be good for all of us to have a nice little break for the afternoon. The look on Varric's face when I strolled through the door of the Hanged Man with a full grown Mabari in tow was priceless.

"Maker Hawke, are you sure he's going to fit in here!" At this Cookie wagged his nubbed tail erratically and barked spinning in a circle, scaring most of the regular's out of thier early morning stupor. I had to chuckle at his eagerness to be out of the house.

"Of course Varric! I'm pretty sure most of the guys in here think their seeing things anyway. So it doesn't really matter." I beamed at him, and he chuckled lightly offering me the chair opposite him. I sat down and Cookie flopped leisurely at my feet huffing.

"So whats on the agenda today Hawke? I've got a few leads but most of them are just rumors at this point, and we still need to see if we can track down that Grey Warden. And speaking of which did you get a chance to spend some more time with that elf Fenris we picked up the other day? He seems like a volitile, yet useful, character to have around."

"I have a deal for you Varric, agree and I shall answer all of your questions." He raised an eyebrow at my statement.

"And what is this deal you speak of Hawke, I am intriuged."

"Well Varric, Maker knows I need a break, and I know with all the Merchant Guild affairs you could too; and Cookie (and here Varric stopped me by interrupting)...

"Wait wait wait Hawke...you named a Mabari Cookie! Why in the makers name did you name him Cookie?" I had to stifle a chuckle at his amazement.

"Well Varric, lets go. Get Bianca and your coat, and I will tell you the story as we walk. Cookie needs to get out and run, and you obviously want to hear the story, so lets go." He laughed at my bluntness but gathered Bianca and we headed for the door. We through Kirkwall, reaching the gates to the city in no time. As we reached the outskirts Varric nudged me, urging me to begin my tale. I sighed a breath, and shooed Cookie on ahead to run as I began.

"Well, my family lived in Lothering for quite some time, hiding from the Templars trying to make a living best we could. Well a few months before the Battle at Ostigar and the rumors of the Blight were just that, rumors, our small town had a sweep of strange thefts going on. Little old ladies in the town used to bake cookies for the lower class poorer people of Lothering, and they would put them on their windowsills to cool. Well it seemed that someone was stealing the cookies while they were cooling. Well, come to find out it was a stray mabari pup, we have no idea where he came from, he just showed up in Lothering and was stealing the cookies from the windowsills. No one could catch the little thing outright. He was too quick and outsmarted them when they tried, until one day my siblings and I were in the woods plaing one of our silly games. We had outgrown the age of games, being in our early to mid teens at the time, but we still played them from time to time. It was the little bit of freedoms we afforded ourselves. We we're in a clearing in the woods when all the sudden, a little ball of bones and fur came streaking through the woods and straight into my arms. He was wiggling and yapping, and licking my face. He was absolutely overjoyed to find me, and I had to confess that I was just as happy to have him there. Its a strange feeling when a Mabari picks his master, it doesn't just affect the dog, it affects the human just as strongly. Its an almost instantaneous bond. Needless to say, the family wasn't too thrilled to have an extra mouth to feed, but we all loved him from the minute he chose us. He had been with us for nearly a week before the subject of a name came up. My family and I were sitting in the living area of our small home, when the little pup came bounding in and my father spoke up asking if I had chosen a name for him yet. I looked at him and simply said Cookie. My family laughed and my father asked why I had chosen Cookie as a name for such a powerful war dog. All I had to do was remind them of the missing cookies, and the whole family was in stitches they were laughing so hard. Its been his name since then." when I finished my tale and looked over at Varric, he was gazing at me with a look of disbelief.

"Maker's Breath Hawke, if anyone else had told me that tale I would have told them they were spinning a whopper." And at this he laughed, and it wasn't just one of his usual chuckles, it was one of his rare from the depth of him laughs. I joined in and we both laughed until we were breathless, enjoying the comfortable company of friends.

"So that is how our powerful four-legged friend received his name huh? I have to say that its a perfect name for such a perfect example of his species. I mean, can you imagine telling your buddies that you had the piss scared out of you by a dog named Cookie!" And here he began laughing again, most likely imagining the look on someones face as they explained that tale.

"I have a feeling Hawke, that I will never be hard pressed for a story while you're around."

"I think you may be right Varric. Since the moment I've set foot in Kirkwall I seem to be a magnet for bizarre things." We sat down on a rock while Cookie bounded around, barking at small animals and birds. I could tell he was happy to be out and running, and I made a mental note to be sure to bring him out to run more often. I sighed enjoying the sunlight, and heard Varric do the same next to me. We sat in a companionable silence for a time, just enjoying being away from the havok of the city.

"So Hawke, what now? Our little band of Merry Men is growing by the second, and people are basically beating down your door to receive your help. You have taken Kirkwall by storm, keep on going like this and even the Viscount will be bowing at your feet asking what he can do for you." I laughed at Varric's statement.

"Oh Varric, you really can spin a tale can't you. I highly doubt anyone will be looking for me once their troubles dry out, then I will be forgotten. Another Ferelden refugee unworthy of their time." Varric looked at me in disbelief at this one.

"Hawke, I really can't believe you don't see how much this city needs you. Kirkwall is a shit hole, full of delusions of grandeur, petty theives, swords for hire, and smugglers. Not a single soul had a decent sense of right and wrong who was willing to do something about it existed in Kirkwall before you arrived. You can do a great deal of good here Hawke, and don't you let anyone else tell you differently." While Varric had been talking Cookie had come over and laid his large head in my lap, almost as if he was backing up what Varric had been saying.

"Thank you Varric. You are a good friend, and what would I do without my trusty dwarven sidekick."

"I'm pretty sure you would shrivel up in a ball and die Hawke." I bumped his shoulder with my own playfully.

"You're probably right Varric." He chuckled at this. "But we should probably be heading back to Kirkwall, see if we can find us a Grey Warden."

We headed off back to Kirkwall, chatting about bits and pieces of various things. Talking about our new companion, speculating on his past and exotricities. We arrived in the city gates about late afternoon and decided we would head back to the Hanged Man for a bit of lunch before we began our Grey Warden search. With Cookie bounding ahead of us we headed out to Lowtown, but the minute we reached the door of the Hanged Man we knew something different was amiss. We stepped inside to see a small group of people by the bar, a woman in the center of it. We gave each other a small look of interest and edged closer to the little group to see if we could find out what was going on. As we inched closer I was able to get a better look at the woman in the middle of the group. She was a dark skinned beauty, long chesnut hair tied back by a blue head scarf, gold jewelry about her face, neck, and arms. She wore a tight corseted linen shirt, and thigh high leather boots, she seemed to forgo pants all together. Just by looking at her I could tell that even though she didn't exactly look it she was a force to be reckoned with. As we stopped just outside the group of people we could just catch what was going on. A man spoke up first.

"Isabella, you owe us." The woman then spoke, and I noticed she had more of a gravelly voice than I would have expected, with an almost honeylike sweet undertone, which if taken wrong I could tell it would turn deadly in an instant.

"Well Lucky, how about this. Seeing as the information you gave me was worthless, I'll cut you a deal. I got nothing out of our "partnership" so you get nothing out of it either. That was no one loses." She went to take a swig of whatever was in the mug in her hand, but Lucky aparantly wasn't having any of that. He grabbed her arm and she turned her head to look at him.

"Me and my men WILL get our money you coniving bitch whore." I couldn't see Isabella's face, as she was turned to look at the man named Lucky, but I could feel the tension in the air, and when I heard her next words I knew that Lucky was about to be very, very unlucky.

"Oh Lucky, you poor sweet thing..." And with that all hell broke loose. She grabbed Lucky's hand and knocked him into the bar, bashing his head against it a few times, and promptly slumping him to the floor. Noticing their leader was in trouble Lucky's men bursted into action, one of the men grabbing Isabella around the waist pinning her arms to her sides. She threw her head back, smashing him in the face and he promptly dropped her. The minute she hit the floor she ducked narrowly missing the bottle another man had tried to swing at her face, instead hitting his comrade across the head knocking him cold. Isabella the proceeded to beat the living tar out of the remaining men, stopping short when Lucky finally picked himself off the floor reaching for his sword strapped to his back. He stopped abruptly however when he found himself staring down the sharp end of one of Isabella's daggers, she had drawn it at lightning speed and had it poised directly above his adams apple.

"So Lucky," her voice was pure honey and venom "tell me is this worth your life?" And we watched as Lucky and his men tucked their tails between their legs and ran for the door. I had to supress a chuckle as I watched Isabella nochalantly sheath her daggers, lean back against the bar, and down her discarded drink. I looked over at Varric and he shrugged his shoulders, and I nodded in the direction of the woman at the bar indicating that I was interested in finding out what had happened. Varric nodded and we headed over to introduce ourselves. We walked up to the woman Lucky had called Isabella, and just as I was about to speak to introduce us, she beat me to it.

"I haven't seen you around here before sweet thing. Welcome, but be sure you pay attention while your here. You're nothing but tits and ass around here, and the drunken locals wont hesitate to make a grab at both." I had to chuckle at her brazen words.

"I can tell you are speaking from experience..?" She laughed.

"After I broke a few of their fingers here and there they pretty much figured it out. But that aside, I am Isabella. Formerly Capitain Isabella, but that title doesn't hold much girth without the ship to back it up."

"I am Alice Hawke, this is Varric, and this is Cookie."

"You are Ferelden aren't you? You have that Ferelden look about you." Here I stopped for a second.

"Fereldens have a "look" about them...what do you mean?"

"Well I spent some time in Denerim awhile back, and people from that area just seem to carry a different air about them then people from other areas I've spent time in. I'll explain it to you in more detail sometime if you happen to be interested." Here she winked at me, Varric laughed at me, and Cookie barked...all of which cause me to turn bright red and wave my hand as though I was trying to bat the thought away. They both laughed a little harder. Isabella took that chance to continue.

"You know, you may just be the person I'm looking for to help me out with a little problem I have."

"You seem to be the kind of person that has a lot of little problems. But I'm always willing to help, what do you need?" She chuckled and continued.

"Someone from my past refuses to remain there. I've arrainged to meet him for a duel, if I win he leaves me alone. But I don't trust him to play along. He was always the type that doesn't play well with others, and I think he may bring along a few extra hands than necessary to our little duel. I need someone like you around to even the odds just in case." I looked over at Varric, and he shrugged, his way of saying it was up to me but he would watch my back if I agreed.

"So, you arranged a duel with a person from your past...is that the information you were having Lucky and his men durge up for you?"

"No, they were trying to track down a posession of mine I seemed to have misplaced. They failed to find it, so I failed to pay them for it. Its nothing to worry about, it will turn up sooner or later. This is way more important that a lost trinket of mine."

"I think we could manage making sure your "friend" plays fair, I shouldn't have a problem watching your back."

She chuckles and gave me a mischevious smile. "I bet you wouldn't.", and with that she winked at me agian...once again causing me to flush bright red, and Varric to howl in laughter at my expense for the second time in the span of one conversation. Isabella pushed off the bar and began to walk towards the door.

"I've arranged to meet Hayder in Hightown after dark, I'll meet you there it shouldn't be hard for you to find me." And with that she walked out the door. I sighed and looked sideways at Varric.

"Well, I guess I wasn't kidding when I said trouble has a way of finding me in this city. What do you think about this Varric?"

"Well Hawke, I think this may be a good way to get a few more connections, and if Isabella sticks around she may be a good person to have in a pinch. A pirate capitan, even an ex one, will have connections that will be worth something. Although we may want to see if Fenris will join us for this little excursion. It may turn bad at the drop of a hat and it would be good to have some back up."

"Alright Varric, you're the boss. Lets grab a quick bite and go round up Fenris before we have to meet Isabella. We can go straight from Fenris' mansion to the meeting point, lets get moving so we have time to drop off Cookie before heading to Hightown." And with that we went into business mode, so much for my relaxing day.


	6. Chapter 6

We ate our lunch quickly and headed off to Lowtown first. I wanted to make sure Mother and Beth knew what was going on, and I worry about bringing Cookie into messes like these so I felt better to know he would be at home keeping my family safe. We reached the hole in the wall I called home and I made sure that Mother and Beth knew what was going on so they wouldn't worry about me. Beth wanted to come along just in case, but I told her Fenris would be going with us, and I'd feel better if she was here with Mother in case something happened. You never knew what was going to happen around us with Uncle and his crazy endevours. We left Cookie with the family and headed off to get Fenris. It didn't take as long to get to Hightown from Lowtown at night because there were fewer people willing to walk the streets with the latest outbirsts of thugs on the streets. We made it almost all the way to Hightown before we ran into our first bit of trouble. A few thugs decided they would try to pick on what they thought were two people heading home late, little did they know what they were really running into. Varric and I finished them off without much difficulty, and while I was checking the thugs for coin, I ran across a piece of paper with the location of their hideout and showed it to Varric. We made a mental note to take care of the thug lair as soon as we had a moment, maybe after we helped Isabella with her little problem. We reached Fenris' mansion with just enough time to talk him into coming along with us. I knocked a few times and receiving no answer I tried the door. It swung open so I looked at Varric who shrugged so I carefully walked inside.

"Fenris..? Fenris are you here?" Varric stuck his head in the door and stepped inside after me.

"Hawke is that you? I'm up here." Fenris called from his usual room upstairs. We headed up the stairs and found Fenris lounging in an armchair by the fire. "What do I owe the pleasure of this visit Hawke, Varric?"

"Well, we have a small job to do and we were hoping you would be willing to come along. I figured you might want to come." I caught myself staring, and lowered my head blushing. I hadn't known Fenris long, but I was still struck by his apperance and he could reduce me to a blushing schoolgirl with just a glance. And we wont even go into what one of those smirks did, like the one he was giving me now. Those smirks should be illegal, that was it, I was convinced. I burned scarlet all over again, and saw Varric trying to stifle a chuckle. So I elbowed him and he umphed glaring at me.

"Let me get my things and we can be on our way then. I assume you will fill me in on our way?" I caught myself staring again, and for the third time in a matter of minutes turned redder than a tomato. I though Varric was about to explode at this point. I realized that he had asked a question and snapped out of it quickly..

"Uhm, yea about that. Were meeting her here in Hightown so do you mind if I tell you whats going on while you get ready?" He appraised me for a second and then motioned for us to follow him. We filled him in on Isabella's request while he pulled his armor on and strapped on his greatsword.

"So let me make sure I have this right. We are going to back up an ex-pirate in case her duel goes wrong?" And here he raised his eyebrow at me.

"Uhm, basically yea. Thats what were doing. She may be an ex-pirate in a duel with someone, probably for doing something illegal, but you know me. I can't not help."

"Why do I have the feeling that life is never going to be dull with you around Hawke?" He chuckled lightly, letting me know he was teasing.

"What is it with people telling me that lately! I know I'm a magnet for strange, but have a little faith in me here boys. But we need to get going, Isabella will be waiting for us." I turned on my heels and headed for the door, hoping it would make them think I was miffed at their lack of faith in me; but instead all I managed to do was trip on my own feet and have to catch myself on a decorative suit of armor, causing both of them to erupt in laughter and me to storm out the front door. They followed me in a matter of seconds looking apologetic and we headed off in the direction of the meeting place. I spotted Isabella leaning against a tree and headed over to her.

"There you are, I was wondering if you would even show up. I've been waiting here for hours and Hayder hasn't made an appearance yet. For that matter no one has shown up, which I don't like one bit." She had been pacing anxiously while she was talking and was stopped cold in her tracks by a woman running up the stairs on her right. I saw her draw her daggers, and we all reached for our weapons.

"Thats the wench were looking for! Rip her apart boys!" And with that they attacked. The battle was short lived, we took care of them quickly and without much injury. Isabella's speed and precision aiding our already deadly combos, I had been right to think that she was not one to mess with. Once the last man fell and we had sheathed our weapons I could hear Isabella speak up.

"We need to search the bodies, there may be something there to help us find out where Hayder is hiding." We set to work looting the bodies and searching for a sign of his wherebouts, I heard Varric shout out. He had found a piece of paper indicating that he was waiting at the Chantry for proof that Isabella had been taken care of. Isabella scoffed.

"Trust a coward like Hayder to hide in the Chantry and send goonies to finish me off for him. Lets get to the Chantry, I cannot wait to get my hands on the little bastard. I wont let him get away with this." And with that she took off running for the Chantry. We ran through Hightown, Isabella obviously bent on her mission. We mounted the steps to the Chantry and Isabella paused just before opening the doors.

"Alright, Hayder should be waiting inside, so be ready. Don't let your guard down." With that she pushed open the door. The Chantry was quiet, but I could see Isabella out of the corner of my eye scanning the shadows for any sign of life. As we neared the center of the room a man stepped out of the shadows.

"Isabella, I should have known you would have found your way here." Isabella lauged darkly.

"Next time Hayder make sure your hired idiots know how to burn the letters after reading them."

"You know, Castillon was absolutely horrified and heartbroken when he heard about you and your poor ship. You should have let him know you didn't drown."

"Ooh dear, did I forget to send him an "Oh look I wrecked my ship but I survived" card. Must have slipped my mind." Hayder chuckled coldly.

"Ooh Isabella, you haven't changed a bit. Now tell me, where is the relic?"

"I seemed to have misplaced it. Maybe it went down with my ship, you never know. We could send Castillon down to the ship to check, I'm sure he wouldn't mind."

"So you lost it did you, just like you lost that ship load of valuable cargo. It just slipped through your grasp?"

"They were not cargo Hayder! That was a ship full of people that Castillon would have gladly sold into slavery for his own personal gain!"

"Those slaves were worth 100 soverigns a head, and dear, sweet, softhearted woman that you are you let them run free in the wilds! And now you've lost the relic too, Castillon will be overjoyed. Now Isabella, what are we going to do about this little problem." Here I stepped in, I was confused as to what was going on, but willing to help Isabella.

"Hayder, you don't have to tell Castillon where Isabella is. I'm sure we can come to some sort of agreement."

"Are you mad woman. If he finds out that I doublecrossed him he would skin me alive, and my life is worth more than hers by a long shot." Isabella let out a huff, obviously frustrated.

"There is only one way to settle this." And with that she whipped out one of her daggers and threw it, it landed perfectly in the chest of Hayders right hand guard. Chaos broke loose, guards drawing their swords and all of us fighting for our lives. Isabella was cutting through guards with ease, Varric was hailing down bolts on the fray, careful to avoid any of us, and Fenris and I were back to back cutting wide arcs in the oncoming men with our greatswords. I heard a grunt and a scream and looked over to see that Isabella had found her way to Hayder and was locked in combat with had just sliced his arm from shoulder to wrist causing him to drop his greatsword, and she was advancing on him slowly a look of pure hatred and disgust marring her beautiful face.

"Its over Hayder." Her voice was pure venom as she purred in his ear, running her dagger through the mans heart. He slumped to the floor, and we picked of the remainder of the guards that hadn't managed to flee in time. It seems that we were all in pretty good shape, Varric had a few cuts but nothing too major. Isabella had a gash in her arm where an arrow had grazed it, Fenris was bleeding from a leg wound, and I had an arrow in my calf, but other than that it wasn't something that an elfroot potion couldn't take care of. I was going to have Beth take a look at mine just in case, but everyone else was ok. We cleaned up and looted the bodies when I looked over at Isabella.

"You know I was trying to talk him down, end this peacefully." I could hear her sigh.

"I know you were, but believe me when I say sweet thing, it is better that things ended up this way. Hayder wont be able to tell Castillon about me himself anymore, but he will find me eventually. You can bank on that. I'll just have to find the relic and give it to him, thats the only option I have anymore I guess." My curiosity was piqued at this.

"Now what is this relic that everyone seems to be so interested in?"

"To be honest with you, I'm not really sure what it is. All I know is that its really old and worth a boatload of gold. Castillon has been trying to get it from me to pay for the boatload of slaves I set free. But if I was completely honest I would say he just wants me dead, and that would be the lowest form of punishment."

"You shouldn't have to worry about punishment for doing the right thing. If finding this relic keeps Castillon from hurting you I will help you find it if you want." She smiled at this.

"I'm still not sure where to find it, but you will be the first one to hear when I do. Anyway thank you for helping me with Hayder. I think I'm going to hang around with you and your friends for awhile. I could use a little excitement and you look like the excitement magnet kind of crowd. I also have a room at the Hanged Man if you're looking for a different kind of excitement later sweet thing." And with that she winked and sauntered out of the Chantry without so much as a glance back. For the the third time today I found myself absolutely beet red, and being laughed at by my supposed friends. I shot them the dirtiest glare I could muster and muttered something about needing a strong drink and stalked off out the door. We all ended up at the Hanged Man afterword, each of us with a drink in our hands enjoying each others company, sharing stories and getting to know each other better. Isabella and Varric seemed to be cut from the same mold and I could tell she was going to be an exciting and excellent addition to our growing band of misfits. She had so many stories from her travels and times as a ship capitan that I thought Varric was going to explode. He kept asking questions and the two of them swapped stories well into the night, and all of us were more than a little tipsy at this point. I don't know how long we stayed there laughing and talking, but eventually I found myself being supported home by a barely sober Varric, and a wobbly Fenris. We must have been a sight wobbling toward Gamlen's, most likely being far too loud for that time of evening/morning whatever it may have been, and for the second time in less than a week I found myself tripping through the door of my home and almost falling face first into the writing desk I wobbled my way to my bed, and a long night of sleeping it off. 


	7. Chapter 7

The next day came far too soon for me. I made my thousandth mental note of the week: NO MORE DRINKING!. I hobbled out of bed, slowly got myself together for the day, and decided to take Cookie to the market to sell off some of the gear I had gathered from my various missions recently. We spent our early morning browsing through the Lowtown market, gathering a considerably small pile of gold from my treasures, taking our time and just enjoying having nothing to do for once. I was browsing through one of the market stalls when I came across an amulet. I couldn't help it, but when I looked at the amulet I had the feeling that there was something I had forgotten, something massively important. As I returned home, I still couldn't shake that nagging feeling, so I made mental note to ask Bethany. If I truly had forgotten something I know she would be the one to remember, she remembered everything. I walked through the front door to find Mother sewing in the corner, Uncle was nowhere to be found, and Beth was sitting by the fire reading one of her favorite books. She looked up when Cookie came bounding in to hop around her and Mother licking their hands and faces. I chuckled at his warm welcome, it never mattered to Cookie, you could be gone 5 minutes or 5 months and he would still greet you the same.

"Hey Beth, can I borrow you for a second? I have something that I need to ask you."

"Of course you can."

There were no doors in Uncle's house save for the front one, so we exited the front door to sit on the steps outside. Beth settled in next to me and looked at me questioningly.

"So whats on your mind sis?"

"Now this may sound strange, but have I forgotten anything major? Anyones name day, an anniversary, to put pants on before going outside? I cannot get rid of the feeling that I haven't done something important." She looked at me for a second, then off in the distance thinking.

"Well, I can't seem to think of anythi...Oh wait! The amulet! The one the witch gave us. Do you still have it!" It was like a candle being lit. I couldn't believe I had forgotten that stupid amulet.

"Oh Maker yes! I cannot believe I forgot that stupid thing! Its in my chest in the house. I stuck it in a false bottom so Gamlen couldn't find it and sell it for money. Must be why I forgot it. We need to take that to the Keeper of the Dalish as soon as possible, we can see if Varric and Fenris want to go today if possible." Beth looked sideways at me.

"That is if the Dalish are still camped near Kirkwall. Its been over a year since we were told they were here. We should see if Varric knows if they are still there before we gather Fenris too. And, you have a false bottom in your trunk! Since when?"

"I put it in right after we got here, I figured it may come in handy." She chuckled

"Well you always were the crafty one. Lets get going, if we are going to attempt to find the Dalish we can't do it sitting on Gamlen's front step." We fell into a fit of giggles as we headed off toward the Hanged Man to find Varric. I always loved spending time with Beth, we had been best friends since she was old enough to walk. Mother and Father could barely seperate us when we were kids. Most people though her and I were the twins instead of her and Carver. She knew everything about me, well almost everything anyway. There was that one secret, the one that no one knew. But I wasn't about to start dwelling on that again. We entered the Hanged Man and found Varric at his usual table working on some paperwork, or if I knew Varric it was his latest novel masquerading as paperwork. He glanced up and smiled, waving us over.

"What can I do for my favorite Fereldens today?" He gestured to the open seats and we sat down opposite him.

"Well Varric, I have a question for you." He looked intrigued, as he always did when I had questions for him. Granted my questions usually came with a heap load of trouble..but still. I chuckled but continued. "We need to track down a Dalish clan. Do you know of any near here?" He raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair.

"Well, there is a clan camped up on Sundermount. But what on earth do you need to find a Dalish clan for Hawke? The Dalish don't seem to be the social call kind of people."

"I made a promise to someone, and I had forgotten all about it until Bethany reminded me. We need to take something to the Keeper of the Dalish clan. If they are still here, hopefully its the same clan. We need to make the journey up there. Do you have the time to tag along? You know we could use the help." He chuckled.

"You always seem to have the most interesting errands to run. Of course I'll come along, like I would miss a chance for a good story."

"Of course you wouldn't Varric. Thank you for coming with us. Were going to stop by and see if Fenris is willing to come with us as well. The more the merrier, especially since we have no idea what were getting in to."

"I can garuntee you Broody will be more than willing to come along." With this he winked at Beth and they both chuckled, and I turned bright red. Blushing should be illegal, well...lots of things should be illegal. I really need to learn how to not blush. I elbowed Beth and she oomphed, causing Varric to laugh harder.

"Oooh, you two! Varric get your things. We still need to get Fenris and I would like to be out of Kirkwall before night falls." Varric laughed all the way up the stairs, and was still beaming when he came back.

"Well ladies should we get going?" He gestured to the door and we headed off for Hightown. We reached the mansion and for once Fenris answered when I knocked on the door.

"Hawke, what can I do for you?" He smiled lightly, and I had to fight the urge to turn red all over again. I was seriously considering just painting my face red to save on embarrasment.

"Fenris, we have an errand to run up on Sundermount and I was hoping you would be willing to come with us. We could certainly use your help, but only if you have nothing better to do." I lowered my head embarrased again. Why could he make me into a blithering idiot everytime I opened my mouth. It was absolutely infuriating.

"Give me a moment to get my equipment, and I will be right out." He shut the door leaving us standing in the entrance, and I caught Varric elbowing Beth out of the corner of my eye. They were both fighting back laughter and I glared at them with all the evil I could muster. It irritated me that my companions were immune to my wrath. I could never bring myself to be fully angry with the people I cared about, and although we had only known Varric for a few weeks he was part of the family to me. I knew they were just giving me a hard time for my awkwardness around Fenris, but it still irritated me. I wasn't one for being poked fun at, and if they had been strangers they would have been bleeding by now. It startled me out of my fuming when the door opened and Fenris stepped out.

"Alright I am ready. I am hoping you will tell me more of our task on the way?" He looked over at me for an answer.

"Well we have one more stop to make, but I will fill both you and Varric in as we travel." They both nodded so we headed for Gamlens to retrieve the amulet. I left everyone outside and ran in to grab it, not wanting to divulge the secret compartment. Not that I didn't trust them, I just didn't want people to know what I kept in there. All of my prized possessions were tucked away in that little cubby including all of the money we had saved for the expedition. I grabbed the amulet and a few potions I had stored in the trunk, and was almost out the door when I heard Cookie whine behind me. I am positive that dog knows exactly how to expertly manipulate me to get his way, but this time I couldn't let him have it. I knelt down next to him and whispered that he had to stay home to guard Mother while we were gone. He wagged his tail and barked which was his way of letting me know he understood his duty, and trotted off to lay down by the fire. I chuckled, went over to the desk to leave Mother a note so she wouldn't worry, and headed out the door to my waiting companions. We chatted casually as we headed out of the city having already filled in everyone on the story of the amulet. Beth was answering all of Varrics questions about how we came across the amulet, and I had a bad feeling about the story milling around in that little head of his. He had a knack for taking the stories I tell him and blowing them in to full blown epic novels. I shook my head and Fenris shot me a sideways look. We had been talking about the past and enjoying each others company. He had become a little more relaxed and I had to admit that I enjoyed having him around more and more each day. We stopped at the foot of Sundermount about mid day and had the small lunch we had the fortitude to remember to bring with us. We sat in the shade and listened to Varric tell stories enjoying our rest. It was a comfortable companionship and I couldn't help but marvel in my luck to have incurred such a ragtag bunch of people. We were all at odds to one another, and everyone was so different, but so far we had worked well together. I found myself nodding off, and woke with a start when I heard a chuckle close right next to me. I looked over to see Fenris leaning towards me, eyes shining devilishly. I could tell he enjoyed the fact that he had caught me napping, and I once again turned flaming red. I scrambled up and began to pack up for our continued journey, and I could hear everyone chuckling behind me. I seriously need to work on my leadership skills, because this was getting rediculous. We packed up our little mini campsite and continued on our way. The climb up Sundermount was steep and windy, and more than once we had to catch each other from sliding back down the way we came. We had to stop more than once to catch our breath. Varric pointed the way and we eventually crested the mountain into a little valley like area.

"According to what I hear the Dalish camp should be situated in the middle of this valley. We should head up that path to our left and see if we can spot it." I sprinted off in the direction and off in the distance I could see what looked like wagons. I called back to my companions and we started off to our destination. We ran into a few giant spiders, but they didn't prove to be a challenge for us and we managed to escape without much injury. We reached the outskirts of the camp and two elvish hunters stepped in our path. They were both scowling and the male of the two spoke to us.

"Why are you here shemlen? Your kind is not welcome among the Dalish." If looks could kill we would be on fire right about now, there was definite hatred from these elves. I knew I had to choose my words wisely or else be turned away and unable to keep my promise. I took a deep breath.

"We were giving an amulet that we were to deliver to someone name Marethari." The male elf glared.

"How do you know that name shem?" I was sure that this was going to end in a fight, but the female spoke up.

"Wait, this is the one the Keeper told us about. She is the one we are waiting for."

"A shemlen? I would have thought she would have been an elf. Enter the camp stranger, Keeper Marethari has been waiting for you. Just mind yourself, we will not hesitate to draw our blades against you." They nodded and stepped aside pointing us towards where the Keeper was waiting. We made our way through the camp, and I was surprised at how many elves stopped what they were doing to watch us when we passed. It was an uncomfortable feeling, being scrutinized by so many people. We found the Keeper standing by the fire, and I approached her.

"Keeper Marethari? I was told to bring you this amulet." I held out my hand and passed her the necklace. She took it carefully and studied it closely before looking at me.

"Andaran atish'an travelers. I am indeed Keeper Marethari. Let me look at you." I was surprised when she stepped forward and gazed openly into my face before smiling and stepping back. "You have truth written in your face, a strange thing for a human. Tell me, how did this burden become yours to bare?" He question was odd, so I thought a moment on how to phrase it before speaking.

"The owner of this amulet saved my family when we were fleeing from the Blight. In return for her assistance we agreed to bring the amulet to you." She nodded.

"I honor you for coming to me with this, but I'm afraid to say that your part in this is not quite over." I looked at her questioningly. "This amulet must be taken to an altar at the top of the mountain, and someone must recite an ancient Dalish rite for the departed. Then return the amulet to me. Do this and your debt will be paid in full." Now I was slightly confused.

"Are you going to teach me how to recite the rite for the departed?"

"No, I will not be teaching you the rite. I will send my First with you, she will be see to it that the ritual is done. Also, when the ritual has been finished, I must ask that you take her with you when you leave our camp." The look that crossed the Keepers face was a very somber and bitter one, and I had to admit that my curiosity was piqued. However I figured it would be better not to ask.

"If that is what you wish, then very well." She shook her head sadly.

"It is not what I wish, however it is what she wants. You will find Merrill waiting for you on the trail that leads further up the mountain. Dareth shiral." And with that she turned and walked away. I looked over my shoulder at my companions and shrugged. Somehow I knew that this simple task was going to turn out to be not so simple after all. I nodded my head in the direction of the path Marethari had indicated and we set off to find Merrill and be rid of this amulet for good. I was eager to see this promise fulfilled, however I was not looking forward to finding out what lay ahead of us in the process of doing so.


	8. Chapter 8

We headed up the path, looking for Merrill. As we climbed the slight incline that was the beginning of the mountain climb to the peak I noticed a small elf sitting on the ground concentrating on something in her lap. She peeked over her shoulder, and started. Rising to her feet I noticed she was a tiny little thing, dainty, with large green eyes and scrolling tattoos that covered her face. Her hair was jet black and had braids placed all through it. She was an elven porcelain doll. I was pulled out of my musings by her speaking.

"Oh! I didn't hear you coming. You must be the one the Keeper told me would be coming. Aneth ara." Here she became slightly flustered. "I'm so sorry! I forgot to ask your name, its not rude to ask a human their name is it!" I shook my head. "I'm Merrill, which you probably knew already...I'm rambling, I'm sorry." She lowered her head flushing slightly. I could definitely understand her embarrassment, so I smiled before answering.

"My name is Hawke, it is a pleasure to meet you Merrill. And behind me is my sister Bethany, and my friends Varric and Fenris." They all nodded in turn, and Merrill smiled shyly.

"Thank you, I'm afraid I'm not very experience with you kind. The Keeper said you came from Ferelden, I spent most of my life there. We came north not long ago, have you been in the Free Marches long? Do you like it here?" I couldn't stop myself from smiling. Where I turned scarlet when I'm nervous it appears that Merrill rambled. I could identify with her, and I figured we would be friends if she stuck around.

"I have been in Kirkwall for a little over a year now. Its been a great place to get a fresh start."

"Really! Oh I hope so. We should go, your task is for Asha'belannar and it is not wise to keep her waiting." With that she turned and began to climb the winding path, motioning us to follow her. We walked in a companionable silence, I knew that my friends were watching for any reasons to mistrust Merrill. They seemed to be very wary of strangers until they had proven to be trustworthy, and I thanked them for that. It kept our little gang safe, and for that I was glad. We rounded a corner and were just about to climb the steepest part of the mountain when the ground started to shake. I heard Varric from behind me.

"Uh-oh, looks like we have visitors." Merrill chimed in.

"This mountain has been restless since the wars. The dead do not remain so here." While they had both been speaking skeletal corpses began to rise from the ground, we all drew our weapons prepared for what lay ahead of us. In the middle of our battle I noticed that the spells flying around my head was not Beth's usual elemental magic. This was much deeper, primal and nature like. I spun around to see Merrill whirling her staff through the air, firing dark green mists, pulling from the very depth of the ground. Once the last corpse fell I turned to her.

"The Keeper didn't tell me you were a mage..." She sighed.

"All Keepers know a bit of the old magics. The stories tell us that all Elvhen once had the gift, but like so many things it was lost." He face dropped and you could see the sorrow written there. I wondered at why the sadness ran so deep in her. She continued. "It is a Keepers job to remember, to restore what we can."

"Well I'm glad you decided to jump in back there, the help was seriously appreciated." She looked surprised, and giggled.

"Oh, well, I wasn't sure I would be much good. I mean, I've done a little fighting before, but it has always been alone. I'll try really hard not to hit anyone...well anyone on our side that is. I'm babbling again...lets go." She turned bright red and started up the path, Beth falling into step beside her. I could hear her asking about her power, I think it will be good for her to have someone to talk to that understands. I smiled at the sight, Beth never had many friends other than the family, so I hoped that Merrill would become a friend for her. I looked over when Fenris came up to my side. He cleared his throat.

"Are you sure you know what you are doing Hawke? I'm not so sure putting your trust in a strange mage is a wise idea." I sighed.

"Fenris, I appreciate your concern, but we don't know she is a bad person. She doesn't look like she could even hurt a fly. And don't worry I haven't let my guard down, she hasn't proven that she is worthy of trust just yet. I'm keeping an eye on her." I smiled at him, but I could tell he still seemed hesitant but he gave me a small smile anyway.

We made our way up the mountain, only running into small bits of trouble nothing to big for us to handle. I was starting to believe that nothing could stop us, we were a powerful little group of misfits, and it was definitely a bad idea to mess with us. As we rounded the last bend before the top of the mountain we were stopped by an elf. He was standing by the entrance to a cave in the side of the mountain. He looked upset and when he spoke he directed it at me but wouldn't take his eyes off of Merrill.

"So it seems the Keeper finally found someone to take you from here. Finish your task quickly human, we cannot wait to be rid of this one." It was a strange statement, and it caused me to wonder what Merrill had done to warrant this kind of response from one of her clan. I heard Varric chime in.

"Hmm, I'm sensing a story here." He had spoken mainly to himself, but I still glared at him. Wrong time, wrong place. I watched as Merrill spoke up.

"I have made my choice, and I will save our clan no matter what you think." Here the elf pushed passed Merrill and glared back at her as he stormed down the mountain and out of sight. I was concerned about her reaction. What would make her own clan so hostile towards her. It certainly couldn't be anything good.

"Merrill, what is going on here." Her face bore her sadness.

"Nothing Hawke, only ignorance at something they cannot understand. We should go." I could tell she didn't want to talk about it, and although I understood I still needed to know.

"I understand not wanting to talk about it Merrill, but if it becomes a problem I will need to know, alright?" She nodded that she understood, and I smiled at her to reassure her that I wasn't upset. I noticed that the path forward had been blocked so I asked about it. Merrill let me know that a landslide had blocked the path last winter, but the cave exited on the other side of the slide so we could still continue that way. We headed for the mouth of the cave but as we reached the entrance Merrill turned.

"I'm sorry, you are not really seeing the Dalish at their finest. We are good people who look out for each other, just not today I guess." She hung her head.

"I'm alright, I am more worried about you than I am about us. Is there anything I can do?" She smiled slightly as she raised her head.

"Thank you, but no. I am fine, and you know, even if my people don't realize what I am doing for them I will see this through." She held her head high as she continued. "Lets go, Asha'belannar is not known for her patience." And with that she entered the cave motioning us to follow her.

We entered the cave to find more spiders awaiting us. This was turning out to be one hell of a day. Corpses and spiders, my favorite, but we managed to take care of them quickly seeing as there were five of us and only a handful of spiders it wasn't very difficult. We found a few more obstacles inside the main cavern but had little trouble getting them taken care of and exiting the cave on the other side. Once outside I noticed that there seemed to be some kind of barrier blocking our path. I looked over to Bethany to see if she may have some idea of what it was, but she shrugged looking perplexed. We watched as Merrill walked up to the barrier and she spoke without turning away from it.

"I can remove the barrier and open the way forward, give me a moment." She pulled a small dagger from her hip, and the minute it appeared I felt Fenris tense beside me. I had to admit to myself that I tensed to, usually when people pulled out sharp objects and said they will handle it, it tends to end badly; and I was pretty sure she wasn't going to slice the barrier to death. Merrill proceeded to slice her palm, and I watched in mild horror as she manipulated the blood and fired it at the barrier. I just barely heard Fenris' growl at my side, and for once I wasn't about to chastise him for it. I was not happy with what I had just witnessed, and I was finding it hard to keep the scowl off my face when Merrill turned to look at us. She opened her mouth to speak but Bethany cut her off before she could.

"I felt the Veil shift, you summoned something here. Are you insane!"

"It was blood magic yes I know, but I know what I am doing. Besides the spirit helped us didn't it?" She looked at me when she said it, and I couldn't help but pity her. She was so nieve and that would end up hurting her someday I knew it. The harsh words died on my tongue before I could speak them, yet I couldn't bring myself to condone what she had done.

"Well they do not keep helping. I know you think you know what you are doing, but you have to be careful. Lets go." I opted to end the conversation there, it was better that way. I could her Fenris' huff of disapproval behind me but I would deal with him later; and Beth shot me a look of indignation. Right now we had more pressing matters to deal with. Merrill nodded her understanding that there would be no more discussion of the issue now.

"Be careful up ahead, restless beings prowl this mountain." She turned and walked through the place where the barrier had stood and we all followed. She stopped just inside the barrier and began to speak. "In the days of Arlathan the elders came here to sleep. Uthenera, the endless dream is what they called it, but they don't sleep peacefully anymore." She sounded so sad as she finished speaking, but she didn't look back as walked through the elders resting place. She indicated the altar on the other side and as I walked towards it the earth began to shake once again. Prepared for it this time we all drew our weapons, but I had to catch myself when a large robed creature popped out of the ground directly in front of me. I heard Beth's shout from behind me.

"Be careful sister, that is no simple skeleton. Do not let that Horror get his hands on you." No sooner had she spoken than it lunged for me. I swung my greatsword and struck it across the back knocking it forward. It spun around and fired a bolt of energy towards me which I had to hit the ground to dodge. It attempted to take advantage of my prone position but I rolled out of the way and sliced its chest as I leveraged myself off of the ground. By this time most of the other creatures were dead and both Fenris and Beth were able to come to my aid. It took us a bit and I sustained a nasty shoulder injury where one of the reanimated corpses had managed to plunge a dagger in when I was otherwise occupied, but finally the last corpse fell and the Horror crumpled into dust. Beth came running over to take a look at my shoulder, Fenris had already removed the obstruction, and Beth cast a healing spell to take care of most of the damage. Varric had to have a large gash patched up from his forearm, Beth had a small but deep cut above her left eye, Merrill had a few cuts and bumps, and Fenris had to have his leg patched, but thankfully we were all safe. Once we had all been patched up and Varric and I had finished looting what I turned to Merrill to see what I needed to do next.

"Place the amulet on the altar, and I can begin the rite." I approached the altar and set the amulet on it, Merrill stepped forward and raised her hands to the sky. She began to speak in her native tongue and I was lost in the beauty of the words. Once she had spoken the last words she reached out towards the amulet and a burst of energy radiated from it. It was magic like I had never seen before, and in the blink of an eye the witch was before us. She rose, stretched, and stepped towards me.

"Ahhh, and so here we are." At the witches words Merrill fell into a little bow and addressed her.

"Andaran atish'an Asha'belannar." The witch looked curiously at Merrill.

"One of the People I see, so young and so bright. Do you know who I am beyond that title?" Merrill had remained in her bowed position and answered from her stance staring at the ground.

"I know only a little."

"Well than stand. The People bend their knees too quickly." And here she turned her attention to me and the rest of the group. "You know it is so refreshing to see someone who keeps their end of the bargain. I expected my amulet to end up in a merchants pocket, not here where I asked it to be." I was taken aback, sure I had temporarily forgotten my task, but I was a person of my word and I would have never gone back on it.

"I gave you my word to deliver the amulet and so I have, but the least you could have done is told me you were inside it the whole time."

"Ah but there was just a piece of me inside, a small piece was all I needed. A security blanket if you will, in case the inevitable should occur; and if I know my Morrigan it already has." The witch was cryptic to say the least, but that did not stop my natural curiosity from getting the better of me.

"So I take it you have plans?"

"Destiny awaits the both of us my dear, we have much to do. But before I go I have a word of advise for you. We stand upon the precipice of change, the world fears the inevitable plummet into the abyss. Watch for that moment, and when it comes, do not hesitate to leap. It is only when you fall, that you learn that you truly can fly." She had truly taken cryptic to a whole new level.

"When that time comes what should I do?"

"Well you do as I do and become a dragon." And here she threw her head back and laughed. It wasn't a happy laugh it was a cold merciless sound. Cold as ice and just as harsh. "You could never be a dragon." And here she turned to Merrill. "And you child, step carefully. No path is darker than when you have your eyes shut."

"Ma serannas Asha'belannar." The witch turned and addressed us all.

"The time has come for me to take my leave you have my thanks, and my sympathy." She turned on the spot and as we watched turned into the massive dragon that I had already seen once before in my life and took flight. She sent out one bone chilling screech and flew away over the distant mountains. I looked around at my companions and I knew no words would be sufficient for what we had just witnessed so instead I indicated that we should begin our descent back down the mountainside. I knew we wanted to reach Kirkwall before nightfall and we were running out of both time and daylight. We climbed back through the cave and the little path back to the Dalish camp. Here we were stopped by the Keeper, she spoke to me first.

"Ma serannas child, your debt had been paid in full." I handed her the amulet as she spoke and she placed it in a little box at her feet. She then turned to Merrill.

"It is still not too late to change your mind Da'len." Merrill shook her head as she held the Keepers hand.

"Dareth shiral Keeper." She released her hand and turned to me.

"I am ready, let us depart." And with that we walked silently out of the camp.

Our trip back down Sundermount took much less time that the trip up had. We traveled in silence for most of the trip, the only one who seemed to want to talk was Varric, asking questions of Merrill and her life. Fenris hung at the back of the group and seemed to be distancing himself from our new addition, uninterested in engaging her in anyway. I could tell that this was going to be difficult, but I knew keeping Merrill around would be good for her in the end. I was hoping that by learning more about her I would be able to persuade her of the bad idea it was dealing with demons. We made it into Kirkwall just before nightfall and Varric took charge of telling Merrill about life in the city. Having lived with her clan for her entire life she had no idea how to function inside a city environment like Kirkwall, and I was thankful that Varric was giving her little lessons on survival. I found a small house in the Alienage for her and we got her settled. She was absolutely horrified at the way the elves seemed to live, but we reassured her that she was making the right decision, and that with a little practice she would do just fine here. We left her alone for the night to get settled and I promised that Beth and I would return to visit her soon, which she was very thankful for. I felt sorry for the little mage. Strange city, strange place, away from her clan for the first time, and I wasn't about to leave her by herself for too long. We parted ways for the night once we left Merrill's, each of us returning to our own homes for a well deserved night of rest. Although after all of the cryptic and crazy things I had to think about I was pretty sure I was not going to be doing much sleeping tonight.


	9. Chapter 9

(Sorry about the tiny chapter guys...been a rough week. Chapter 10 will be on its way soon, and I felt a tiny chapter 9 was better than no chapter at all XD. Let me know how I'm doing, it keeps me from second guessing and scrapping this whole project all together)

I decided when I woke up that today, I was taking a break. No bandits, no running about, just a nice simple day. I hadn't had a chance to spend time with a few of my friends one on one and I thought it would be a good idea. I decided I would go see Aveline first, see how being guard captain was treating her. I dressed for the day and sat down at the desk before heading out to see if there was anything important. There appeared to be nothing major, just a few people asking for help. I stuck them in my pocket to show to Varric, I had a feeling I would run into him before the day was out. I left Gamlens and headed for the Viscounts. I found Aveline in the barracks in her new office. She seemed to be doing quite well and the guard seemed to be flourishing under proper leadership. She seemed happy there, and I was happy that she had found somewhere where she was at home. We sat and chatted for awhile about life and the various things life had been bringing us. She was a little worried about the newest members of our little group, but promised to come to the Hanged Man for what Varric and I hoped would be frequent meetings to bring us all together. We parted ways just before lunch and I decided to head back to the house to have lunch with Mother and Beth, I didn't spend enough time with them lately, and although it was to better our family situation I still felt bad. When I reached the house I knew the scene inside wasn't going to be a pleasant one, I could hear the shouting from outside. Mother appeared to be on one of her tangents again and I could hear her and Uncle. I opened the door and leaned against the frame, knowing it was better to just watch and let Mother get it out of her system instead of trying to intervene. Mother was shouting.

"My children have been in servitude. SERVITUDE! For a year, when they should be nobility!" Ah this old argument again, they were down to having this one at least once a week. Only this time it seemed to be a little more intense than the others. Gamlen decided to chime in at this point

"Ah are we really beating this dead cart horse again Leandra? I told you, it doesn't matter how hard you wish, you are still going to wake up in Lowtown. Keep dreaming." I decided that this time I wasn't going to just sit by and watch this argument. I hated the way Uncle treated Mother, and I had had just about enough.

"Mother, Gamlen made his mistakes and unfortunately we have to live with them. Isn't that right Uncle?" I gave him the evillest glare I could muster, and I could see him stutter before speaking.

"Your mother was supposed to marry the Comte de Launcet, but instead she ran off with with some Ferelden apostate. You don't get to remain the favorite when you do something like that." And here he rounded on Mother, but Mother wasn't having any of it. She was furious and she was letting us know it.

"Where is Father's will! If I could just see it for myself." Gamlen huffed in frustration.

"Its not here! I've already told you that. It was read, it went in the vault. No one needed to see it again!" I was growing tired of this argument by now so once again I decided to jump in.

"Take me to the vault Uncle." Believe me when I say that there were no nice in my voice. Gamlen whined, his weakness and lack morality was starting to really piss me off.

"I can't! Its in the cellar of the estate, and someone else lives there now." Here Bethany chimed in, I hadn't even noticed that she was here until then; and I could tell that she wasn't happy either.

"You didn't take your parents will!"

"It was old news! Do you think I have been sitting here twiddling my thumbs for 25 years, waiting for Leandra to come slinking back!"

"Who bought the estate Gamlen? Perhaps I could speak to them, persuade them to sell the estate? Was it one of our old neighbours, they always seemed to want the estate."

"You do not know them sister, so get used to Lowtown, because that is where we are going to stay." We all stood and watched as Gamlen stormed from the house, slamming the front door behind him. Mother was muttering to herself, disbelief echoing her mutterings at Gamlen's behavior. She settled herself in her chair by the fire, lost in her own thoughts. Beth and I exchanged worried glances, and Beth motioned for me to follow her outside. We sat on our usual spot on the stairs and Beth looked at me with a serious expression plaguing her face.

"Is it just me or is this argument getting worse?" I sighed heavily.

"No Beth, its not just you. I think Mother is about to disembowel Gamlen if he doesn't change his tune and give her more information than he has as of late."

"Well you know how much I hate to think badly of family, but I know you feel it too. Gamlen is holding something back, he's not telling us everything about Grandfather's will. Do you think he spent the money that was supposed to be Mothers, and just isn't telling us?"

"I think dear Uncle Gamlen isn't playing with a full deck of cards." Beth chuckled but elbowed me in the ribs anyway.

"Be serious sister, this is really bothering Mother, and after all we have been through I hate to see her so unhappy."

"I know Beth, I just couldn't help myself on that one. Gamlen makes himself such an easy target. But I know what you mean, Mother isn't happy and it bothers me too. I want what is rightfully ours just as much as Mother does, and I know you do too." I heard her sigh in relief.

"Good, I knew you would want this a badly for Mother as I do. Our dear Uncle told me he gave the estate as payment to some slaver who beat him at dice." I could almost feel my jaw hit the floor. I knew Gamlen was a snake...but this was especially horrid. Beth shook her head. "Apparently our Mother's home, is now a base for slavers from all over Thedas." I was positively outraged, not for myself or Beth, but for Mother. If she ever found out this news would kill her.

"I can't believe a member of our family could be such a snake, but what are we going to do about it. If its run by slavers they will have the main entrance guarded and there would be no way to get the will out of the vault without it becoming a suicide mission." Beth grinned, and I couldn't help but feel she had something up her sleeve.

"Well, I've already taken care of that actually. I talked to both Mother and Gamlen, and Mother gave me her key to the cellar. The vault happens to be conveniently located in the cellar, so I have a feeling it will be easier to get to from there. The entrance to the cellar is in Darktown, so I think slavers wouldn't see it as much of a threat and would keep it less heavily guarded, which would provide us with the opportunity to sneak in, grab the will and sneak back out. What do you think sister?" I couldn't help but beam at her.

"Beth my dear, you are brilliant as always! Lets go now. We can get Varric and Isabella to help us and have this taken care of by evening."

"Sounds perfect. Let me get my staff and we can be on our way."


	10. Chapter 10

I cannot believe the response I've gotten back for my simple little brainchild! Thank you all for everything, especially putting up with my gaps in posting; and a special thanks to Lucky7171 for keeping me going, I would have stopped by now if she wasn't there to kick my butt :D! And my new friends (you should know who you are) who have told me that my story is worth keeping up with, and to not give it up. I hope the coming chapters are up to it, and hold on things are about to get complicated :D.

We grabbed our equipment and headed for the Hanged Man, Beth and I chatting excitedly as we traveled. We were running on adrenaline at the thought of getting Mother her home back, so it didn't take us long to arrive. We found Varric and Isabella sitting at Varric's usual table in the back having a heated debate over something, most likely a scene in one of Varric's new novels that Isabella didn't think was done just right. They were always going on about his silly little works of fiction and how this or that was wrong. I generally tuned them out when they got like this, but this time I settled myself between them and interrupted, after all my cause was way more important than their petty squabble. Isabella huffed at me but I just bumped her with my shoulder and laughed to myself as she tried, and failed, to hold back a chuckle. Varric just smiled.

"Hawke, Sunshine, what can I do for you two lovely ladies today?" Beth sat down at the table across from him and I just beamed.

"Well Varric, Isabella, how would you two like to help Beth and I on a super secret family mission." I knew that Varric would have no choice but to say yes at those words, his love for a good story wouldn't allow him to say no; and Isabella never said no to a good adventure.

"Well now how can I say no to an enigmatic statement like that. What do you think Rivani, feel like an adventure today?" They both grinned and Isabella added.

"You know me Varric, I can never pass up a perfectly good opportunity to cause some mischief." She winked at me, and they both disappeared upstairs to gather their equipment. I beamed across the table at Beth and we both laughed. It was exciting, and it felt good to finally be doing something for Mother. She deserved it after all that had happened. It would be nice for her to finally have something back, instead of taken away from her. The pang of sorrow and guilt tugged at my stomach, but I pushed it away. I knew that now was not the time to be thinking of Carver, now was Mothers time, and nothing was going to stop me from getting that will. Isabella returned first her daggers strapped to her back and a wicked grin on her face. I had grown to love the wicked pirate queen in the short time I had known her. She may be a bit on the racy side, but she always made a bad day much much better. Her playful take on life was very contagious and I couldn't help but grin myself. Varric came down not much later, and we headed down to Darktown.

We filled Varric and Isabella in while we walked, and both of them were very interested in clearing out our ancestral home and retrieving Grandfather's will. They both liked Mother, and hated her living in that heap just as much as we did. Mother seemed to have adopted our rag-tag little group as her own, and I knew they would be just as protective of her as I was. We reached the lower levels of Darktown and Beth took the lead. Mother had described where to find the entrance to the cellar, and Beth found it without any problem. She fit the key into the lock and it clicked swinging the door wide open, I waved Beth to the back where Varric could watch out for her and Isabella and I stepped into the dark cellar in the lead. We knew that slavers had taken over the home, so we were not surprised when they came crawling out of the woodwork. We drew our weapons and jumped into the fray. Beth and Varric made quick work of them from the shadows while Isabella and I cut them down back to back from the middle of the room. We fought our way up through the room and up the stairs, making quick work of the unprepared slavers, until we reached the main room just below where Beth said the vault should be. We walked into the room and a man stepped from the shadows. I really wanted to wipe that smug sneer from his face, it was far too proud to do him any good anyway. The hair stood up on the back of my neck when he spoke, his voice as cold as ice.

"Let me guess, Gamlen sent you to reclaim what he lost. Well I will just have to send one of you back with my response won't I." With that he drew his staff and hurled a fireball. I managed to dodge it but when I rolled I must have triggered a hidden trap of some kind. A horrible noxious gas filled the room, burning my eyes and nose making it nearly impossible to see or breathe. I tried to get off the ground but only made it to my knees when a second blast of fire came hurtling towards me. I managed to dodge it by rolling to the left but I had failed to see the archer taking aim at me from the stairs. The arrow hit me in the shoulder almost nicking my neck, and the pain was near blinding. Isabella ran over to give me a hand and keep the slavers off of me, so I took the opportunity to wrench the embedded arrow free. The pain was maddening but I knew I would have to deal with it later before the slaver mage had an opportunity to take us all down. Varric and Beth managed to take care of most of the slavers and Isabella was felling them left and right, so I seized the moment to charge the mage in the center of the room. The gas was still lingering and had effected not only us but them as well, so I decided to use this to my advantage. I could tell that the mage was having difficulty seeing so I feigned to the left and dodged behind him, swinging my greatsword up the mans back dropping him to the floor. Not about to be finished off so quickly the mage rolled and fired a blast of lightning at my chest, which I just barely managed to dodge. I brought my greatsword down intending to remove the mans head, but he blocked with his staff and sliced at my leg with the bladed end. As I staggered back in pain he managed to get himself to his feet, and send a mind blast that rocketed me into the crates against the wall. I heard a sickening crack as a few of my ribs snapped and I let out a pained groan. The mage advanced on me with his staff raised, that same proud smirk on his face. He had however underestimated my companions and their abilities. They had recently just finished off the last of his goons and had just noticed my plight. I couldn't help but mirror his self-satisfied smirk as he fell to the ground gurgling, one of Isabella's daggers having just been recently removed from his throat. Beth ran over and began her healing, and after a quick look at my companions I was pleased to see that I had received the worst of the injuries, the rest just having minor cuts and burns. Beth made quick work of getting me back on my feet, and had us all back to new in a matter of moments. While she was attending to a burn on Varric's forearm I set to the task of checking through chests strewn about the room and as I was looking through one I found something that I knew Beth was just going to love. It was a painting of our Mother, and I had to assume it was her engagement portrait. I stuck it in my pack, hoping that Beth had not seen; I was hoping to keep it a surprise for her. We found the key in the mages pocket and unlocked the door leading to the vault. Beth let out a gasp as we stepped inside.

"Sister, this is the vault. Everything we could ever want to know about our family should be in here. Look! There is the Amell family crest. Could you imagine how the estate looked when Mother was growing up, this hanging above the door." I smiled at her.

"It will hang above the door again Beth, only this time it will be the Hawke crest. I promise you."

We set to the task of searching for the will. Beth let out a small squeal.

"Over here sister I have found it, Grandfather's will...Ooohhh. Mother will need to see this as soon as possible." I nodded.

"Lets be off then. Varric, Isabella thank you both for your help. As soon as we have settled everything we will meet you at the Hanged Man. I hope you understand. Things could get ugly...well you know." They both smiled and nodded understanding Gamlens tendencies all too well. We exited the cellar through the main door and parted ways just outside the Hanged Man. When we reached the front door I could hear Gamlen and Mother speaking inside so I knew that this could get ugly really fast. Looking over my shoulder at Beth I gave her a small smile.

"Are you sure you're ready for this Beth, it could get ugly?" She let out a small laugh.

"You know I am sister. Mother needs to see whats in Grandfather's will, and Gamlen needs to face the truth. Let's get this over with."

With that I pushed the door open just in time to hear what Gamlen and Mother's conversation had been about, and needless to say I was not happy about it.

"You know Leandra, blood is blood and all but...you don't think you haven't been taking advantage of my hospitality just a little bit? Its only fair that you make some sort of monthly contribution. Its not like I'm asking much." I'm sure my face showed the same amount of indignation as Mothers did, only with a tad bit more hatred than hers.

"First you sell my children into servitude, and now you are asking me to pay rent!" I stepped behind Mother glaring daggers at my dear Uncle, and he became visibly uncomfortable. He shifted his feet.

"Gamlen lied to you Mother." And here I stared down Gamlen "We found the will." Beth stepped up at my side with the will in her hand, reaching out to hand it to Mother as she spoke.

"He forgave you Mother, Grandfather left you everything. Read it for yourself." Mother began to read, and I could hear Gamlen stuttering from where he stood. She began to read out loud.

"To my daughter Leandra, and all children born of her, I leave the estate in Hightown and all associated revenues." She looked up, and absolute look of shock and horror on her face. I took the opportunity to speak, glaring down my Uncle as I did.

"Well Uncle...what do you have to say for yourself." He turned on Mother instead.

"You are the one that ran off Leandra! What happened to you always saying that love was so much more important that money!" Mother looked as though she had just been slapped.

"It is, and always has been!" But Gamlen hadn't finished with his rambling missive just yet.

"You didn't even come home for their funeral!" I could tell now that Mother was getting angrier by the second.

"The twins were a week old! What was I supposed to do, leave them behind!" Gamlen's face grew darker.

"We all have our own burdens to bear Leandra. How lucky was I that mine was looking after a life you abandoned. Honestly! How long was I supposed to wait!" I couldn't stand to watch Gamlen attack Mother any longer, and I was pissed. I couldn't believe a member of my family, who was supposed to care about our well being could do something like this.

"You will spend the rest of your life paying Mother back for what you have done Uncle." It was his turn to look as though someone had slapped him. He took a step back.

"Andraste's ass I will!" I took a step towards him, but Mother laid her hand on my arm.

"I'm not asking you to repay me Gamlen. It was enough to know that Mother and Father didn't die hating me. I will see about petitioning the Viscount for the rights to the estate, and Maker willing you will have your house back within weeks." Gamlen shook his head.

"You don't have the coin or the standing to even get an audience with the Viscount. You have to be someone in this city to even consider living in that house again." Mother just smiled.

"Well then, I had better get started hadn't I." And with that she went to sit at the writing desk to study the will and begin writing her letters. I glared at Gamlen and he turned and headed for the door. I didn't think it was possible for someone to be this big of an arse to a member of their own family, but yet again Gamlen had gone and proven me wrong. I looked over at Beth and motioned to our little bedroom we shared. I shed my greatsword and pack and she leaned her staff up against the wall.

"Well Beth, that couldn't have gone any better if the Maker himself had intervened, wouldn't you say so?" I had to hold back a giggle at the look on her face. "I'm only joking dear Beth, you can't seriously believe I meant that." She laughed and hit me playfully in the arm.

"Oooh you! What am I going to do with you! But, if anyone could get the estate back, it would be Mother. Even if she has to picket the Viscounts office every day until he signs the papers." We fell into a fit of giggles at the image of Mother picketing the Viscount, only to be shushed by Mother a few minutes later. She always had a way of instantly making us feel like children caught with our hands in the cookie jar when she did that; and we quieted instantly. I cleared my throat, breathless from giggling.

"Well Beth, should we go fill in Isabella and Varric? We did afterall say we would meet them when this was all over." She sighed, but nodded. We took a few minutes to clean up and change into our everyday clothes. I was glad that Gamlen's was so close to the Hanged Man, it kept me from having to gear up every time I wanted a drink. I strapped my travelling dagger to my hip just in case and we set off.

We found them sitting at Varric's usual table and they waved us over. Isabella had obviously started without us, seeing as she was a giggling mess by the time we had sat down. She ordered us both drinks despite our protests and proceeded to try and get Beth to hit on the man at the bar that couldn't stop staring. Beth blushed scarlet at the idea and we all had to hold back our laughter, although we failed miserably and she proceeded to kick me hard in the shin under the table. We sat at the table enjoying drinks and each others company, Beth and I filling them in on what happened. Which prompted both of them to offer their assistance in having Gamlen taken care of. We just smiled and laughed it off. After awhile of enjoying each others company Fenris showed up and we began a few games of Wicked Grace, before Beth and I had to excuse ourselves and headed home. When we arrived home we found that Gamlen still hadn't returned and Mother had already gone to bed, the desk showing signs of how hard she had worked on her missives. We said goodnight to Cookie, and headed off to bed, readying ourselves for whatever the next day in this crazy city had to offer.


	11. Chapter 11

There was no other way to go about it...I was going to kill Bethany. She was dead meat and there was nothing else to it. The slobbering, giant, very hyper mabari sitting on my head was the reason why. Everyone knew that you don't let Cookie in when you are sleeping, ever. He has a really bad habit of attempting to become a lap dog, which is very uncomfortable when you are sleeping. Well Bethany in her adorable fun self decided it would be an excellent morning prank to let him in to wake me up. Not...funny...at...all. I was hungover, covered in drool, and run over by a very happy mabari. Not the greatest start to my morning. I pushed Cookie off of my head, and he landed on the floor with a loud thump, huffing indignantly but still managing to wag his stubby tail at me. I patted him on the head, because it wasn't his fault after all. I threw on some clothes and stalked out to the main room, Cookie bouncing around my ankles happily, and found Beth and Mother giggling at me in the corner. I sent them the dirtiest glare I could muster with mabari drool hanging off my face and marched to the wash basin in the corner Mother came to stand behind me and attempted to stop her giggles.

"Oh my dear, we're sorry. We couldn't help it. When Beth tried to wake you and you wouldn't budge we figured this would be the easiest way. Forgive us." Oh who was I kidding, I couldn't stay mad at them.

"You know I can't stay mad at you two, and it was pretty funny." With that Mother swept me up into one of her crushing hugs and we all laughed ourselves silly, Cookie bounding in circles between all of us. It was moments like these that my family needed, moments that reminded us just how much we needed each other. But sadly moments like these were rare anymore. It was nice when we didn't have to focus on all of our loss and could just be a family again. We spent the morning just enjoying each others company, and Beth was treasuring her new gift. I had given her the portrait of Mother that I had found in the vault and like I had suspected she loved it. When Mother saw it she smiled, and told us stories behind the painting and of her engagement before she had eloped with Father. We enjoyed our morning while it lasted, but all too soon a knock on the door drew our attention. I was surprised when I opened the door and found Varric standing on the doorstep. I invited him inside and he was greeted by both Mother and Beth.

"Well if it isn't my favorite Ladies in all of Kirkwall." Both Mother and Beth giggled, and Varric just beamed. He would always be the favorite dwarf in the Hawke household.

"And to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit today Varric?" He beamed at me.

"Well Hawke..." And here I stopped him.

"Varric, how long have you known me now. Its Alice, you don't have to call me Hawke."

"Well Alice, its not that I don't wish to use your first name, its just that its become your nickname."

"How did my surname become my nickname."

"Well, dear Bethany here is Sunshine, Fenris is Broody, Isabella is Rivani...and you...are Hawke. It just fits." I sighed.

"Alright Varric you win. Hawke it is." He chuckled and continued.

"Well as I was saying. We are doing really well with our funds for the expedition, but we seem to be one Grey Warden short." I groaned.

"Oh that's right. I'm sorry Varric. With everything that has been happening lately I keep forgetting! We should get Isabella and Merrill to go with us and we should go right now."

Well hold on a second. You are not even completely dressed for the day my friend. I will go get Merrill and Isabella and meet you here so you have time to get yourself ready." I nodded, remembering that I probably still had some Cookie drool in my hair, which must be sticking straight up because I hadn't had time to do anything with it yet. And my regular clothes we're not going to be very good for fighting. Varric nodded and headed for the door letting himself out, and I set to the task of getting ready. Getting ready was much more difficult that I had originally planned. Apparently in my drunken haze the night before I had managed to loose my other leather boot, which I later found in Beth's bed. (To this day I still have no idea how it managed to get there.) Once I had finally rounded up all of my clothes and had my greatsword strapped to my back I headed back into the main room to find that everyone had arrived in my absence. Varric had a crazy way of getting things done, and quickly. Everyone exchanged pleasantries and we chatted for a bit until Varric ushered us out the door. We had a long day ahead of us, hunting down a Grey Warden wasn't going to be an easy task. Varric ushered us toward Lirene's here in Lowtown. He suspected that if anyone knew where to find a Grey Warden Lirene would. We chatted as we walked, enjoying each others company. I enjoyed all of my companions, we were all so different, and yet despite all of our differences we worked well together.

"Well here we are." Varric had walked up to a door surrounded by a bunch of Ferelden refugees, and ushered us all inside. He leaned up and wispered to me.

"That's Lirene there, behind the counter. Work your magic Hawke." He nudged me forward winking. I took a look around the room, the place was in complete chaos. The woman behind the counter that Varric had indicated was Lirene was barking orders to numerous assistance; and people were milling around attempting to gain some attention for this issue or that problem. I approached the woman, my companions staying at my back a short distance. Varric was the only one that approached with me. I cleared my throat and Lirene rounded on me, her eyes narrowed in irritation.

"If you are looking for medical assistance, leave your name with one of my assistants. We serve everyone in need of assistance here, no one came from Ferelden without difficulties. But I cannot give priority to anyone who has already found work and has a place to stay. There are too many people dying in the undercity without aid, so unless your dying..." I figured it was best to get straight to the point with this woman, she was an all business type and wouldn't appreciate me wasting her time.

"The word on the street is you know where I could find a Ferelden Grey Warden?" She gave me a mistrustful glance.

"The only Ferelden Grey Warden I know of is sitting on the throne. Anyway the Blight is no longer a threat, so why would you have need of one?" One of her assistants bustled into the conversation at this point, her eagerness to help getting the better of her.

"The healer was one of them once wasn't he? A Grey Warden I mean..." Here she broke off, the glare Lirene was giving her could have stopped a charging ogre in its tracks. She rolled her eyes before answering.

"Well he isn't one now, and he has enough on his hands without having to answer foolhardy questions about it." I knew she wasn't going to give up the information we needed easily, but I also knew bribing or persuading this woman wasn't going to work. So again I opted for the straight to the point route.

"Who are you protecting?" She stared at me, never breaking eye contact while she responded.

"You see what are people are subjected to here in Kirkwall. They have no homes, no food, no money...most of them can't even afford to buy bread. This healer is the one respite they have, he is their guardian. He serves them without any thought for coin, never asks questions and asks nothing in return." Merrill interjected.

"Then why does he feel the need to hide." Lirene turned her attention to the elf.

"He is a good man, and I will not see him lost to the bloody Templars." Ah, now it made a bit more sense.

"The healer is a mage then."

"Do you think I would stick my neck out for someone peddling snake oil?" I looked her straight in the eyes before speaking.

"Some of my own are mages my friend, I would never hand someone over to the Templars. That is no life for anyone." She smiled lightly.

"He doesn't want to be locked away in the Gallows just for using the gifts he was blessed with by the Maker." I returned her smile.

"Your healer is in no danger from me, nor any of my companions. We simply need a moment to speak with him, that is all." She sighed.

"I guess it is not my secret to keep. The healer...Anders, has certainly been free enough with his services. Refugees among Darktown know, to find the healer look for the lit lantern. If your need is great enough, you will find Anders within." With that she turned and walked away, leaving us to see ourselves out. Varric grinned at me.

"Well Hawke, you certainly have a way with people don't you." I couldn't help but smile at him.

"You know me Varric, I am a people person." My companions all chuckled at that and we all headed for the door of the humble little shop. Just before I passed through the door I noticed a small chest sitting on a table. It was a donation box and seemed to be rather lacking in the donation department. I knew I needed the coin, but there were many of my countrymen who needed it far more than I did at this moment. I reached in a deposited some coin, careful to keep exactly how much from Varric especially. Just as the coin landed in the chest I heard a voice over my shoulder causing me to turn. Lirene was gazing at me from behind the counter.

"Bless you. May the Maker watch over you." I nodded to her and ushered myself through the door to my waiting companions. Varric smiled at me knowingly and I couldn't help but blush. He had a way of knowing exactly what was going on in my head, sometimes I could swear he could read minds. We were just about to start the trek into Darktown when a group of people began to advance on us. The leader of the little group walked up and spoke to me.

"Hey, we heard you in there asking about the healer. We know what happens to mages in this town, and we are not going to let that happen to him." I sighed. Well at least we knew that we didn't have to worry about anyone getting to this man Anders before we had a chance to talk to him. He had a support system that must have encompassed the majority of Kirkwall. I glanced at Merrill, wordlessly asking her permission to have her step in if needed, and she nodded. I turned my attention back to the little group, addressing the leader.

"Do you really think we would turn him in when he is one of us?" I nodded to Merrill and she ignited a small fireball in her palm, extinguishing it just as quickly. The group gasped. "Plus we are Ferelden refugees just as you are my friends. We will not harm the healer any more than you would." The leader sighed.

"Ferelden...but with your clothes...I would have figured you for a native, and your companion. We truly are sorry. Maker bless the rule of our King Alistair." And with that he gave a small bow and the little group dispersed.

I turned and gave a small smile of thanks to Merrill and she beamed. I was glad to have the little Dalish elf in my ragtag group, she may have misguided ideals, but she was a good soul. We started the trek to Darktown, chatting merrily along the way, but once actually inside the undercity conversation between us began to quell. Even after all my time in Kirkwall the status of Darktown was still a shock to me. How anyone could live in these conditions was utterly a mystery to me, they made Gamlen's look like the Viscounts Keep. And the smell...Maker it was horrible. We fumbled around the alleyways of Darktown for awhile when Varric nudged me hard in the ribs pointing to a set of doors with a lantern hanging on one of the frames the flame burning brightly inside. I beamed at him eager to get this over with and we headed for the door. I pushed the door open and stepped inside my companions following close behind me. The room was filled with cots lining the walls and center of the room, and on one of those cots was a young boy. His family was gathered around him, and the healer stood above him blue light emanating from his palms. The healer, Anders Lirene had said his name was, had his back to us but I could tell he was in a state of intense concentration. We were watching him in awe when suddenly the boy he was so intent on sat up gasping for air. I was so caught up in watching what the healer was doing that I jumped at the sudden movement, Varric chuckling at my elbow. I shot a quick glare at him, causing him to chuckle harder. I rolled my eyes and turned my attention back to the scene in front of me. The family had surrounded the boy hugging him, and claping the healer on the shoulder. The man looked exhausted and his shoulders were slumped from the effort. Beth had always told me that healing took a lot out of a mage, and I felt for the man. I took a few steps toward the healer named Anders, but before I had gotten close to him the man whipped around staff raised. His voice was strong, albeit slightly panicked and tinged with a hint of something otherworldly as he spoke.

"I have made this place a sanctum of healing and salvation. Why do you threaten it?" He gazed right at me as I spoke...and I gasped audibly...and then...I froze.


	12. Chapter 12

Oh my...three chapters in 2 days..what in the world is wrong with me. I'm adding a thank you to my fellow writer Emerald Ryuu Feather, who also has an excellent Dragon Age story called Gifts of the Heart that is totally amazing! You're an excellent writer buddy! Keep up the amazing work :).

And now...Fire & Ice.

The man, Anders, was gazing at us threateningly staff raised; but instead of focusing on the danger he was posing, all I could focus on was him. I couldn't move...hell I couldn't even think straight. He was a handsome man by any standards, but it was his eyes that drew me in. Amber, whiskey colored eyes. I felt a shudder ripple down my spine, but I was ripped out of my reverie by Varric's short cough. I sputtered casting around for what I was going to say. I cleared my throat shakily.

"I-we...we mean you no ill will. I am just here to speak with you." I cast my eyes at the floor, embarrassed to the core. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Anders still hadn't released his defensive stance, and I was relieved when Varric chimed in.

"We're are trying to get an expedition together into the Deep Roads, and rumor has it that you were a Warden. Do you know of a way?" I raised my head a little to peer through my curtain of white hair. I let out a small sigh of relief when I saw Anders relax a bit, although still wary of us. I couldn't help but ogle and was ever thankful for my hair curtain hiding my face. Even his voice was captivating when he spoke...which he was currently doing and I knew I had to snap out of it or risk looking like a complete moron again. I brought my head up to look him in the eye as he spoke.

"What, did the Wardens send you to drag me back? Well I'm not going back," and here he muttered more to himself than anyone in particular. "They made me get rid of my cat! Poor Ser-Pounce-a-lot, he hated the Deep Roads." I didn't quite know whether to laugh...or take him seriously...so I said the only thing I could think of in a moment like that.

"You had a cat...named Ser-Pounce-a-lot...in the Deep Roads?" The small smile that crossed his face as he remembered was gutwrenching; and I chose to ignore the fact that my knees were turning into mush and attempt to focus, which wasn't working very well.

"Yes, he was a gift, and a very noble beast." His eyes shone with pride, lost in memory, and I couldn't help but smile. "He almost got ripped in half by a Genlock once. Swatted the bastard on the nose..even drew blood." I caught myself giggling and hastily blushed when Varric gave me a knowing sideways glace. Damn that know-it-all, smug dwarf.I was going to kick him in the shins next time the opportunity presented itself. I was drawn out of my reverie by Anders resuming his speech. "Blighted Wardens said he 'made me too soft', I had to give him to a friend of mine in Amaranthine." The sadness that tinged his words was heartbreaking, and I had to shake my head to snap myself out of it. I cast around for something to say, I settled on getting straight to the point. I could feel Isabella's knowing smirk boring holes into the back of my skull, and it was getting rather uncomfortable.

"Well, as Varric said, I am part of an expedition into the Deep Roads. Any information you could offer as an ex-Warden could help save lives." He became slightly uncomfortable as he spoke.

"I will die a very happy man, if I never have to think about the Deep Roads again. You have no idea what I have been through in order to get here...I'm not interes..." and here he broke off momentarily thoughtful. He seemed to be having a brief argument with himself, and shook himself out of it before continuing as thought nothing had happened. "Although, a favor for a favor. Does that sound like a fair deal to you. You help me, and I help you?" In a moment of Maker knows what my terrible sarcastic sense of humor got the better of me and I responded without thinking.

"Well now, let us be more specific. I don't do anything involving children or animals." Varric snorted in disbelief and I head Merrill and Isabella snickering behind me, causing me to flush absolutely scarlet. I was thankful he seemed to ignore the gist of what I had said, and he began to pace as he spoke.

"I have Warden maps of the depths in this area, but there is a price."His eyes pierced into mine as he spoke, the intensity of his planning was nearly overwhelming. He continued, taking a few steps towards me as he spoke. "I came to Kirkwall to help a friend, a fellow mage who is imprisoned here in the Gallows. Somehow the Templars learned of my plans to free him. Help me bring him safely past them, and you shall have your maps." He gazed at me hopefully, amber eyes burning into my own ruby ones. I found that I couldn't say know...to a complete stranger...I must be going mental afterall.

"Help my expedition make it to the Deep Roads, and you shall have whatever you need." He smiled, and my knees were putty. He chuckled as he spoke.

"You agree without even asking for my terms. What if I were asking for the Knight-Commanders head on a spike?" I would kick myself later for the grin that spread over my face.

"Is that what you are asking?" There was a twinkle in his eyes that was intoxicating.

"I will leave that up for you to decide." We spoke about what he had referred to as the 'plight of the mages' and he was surprised to find that I felt much the same way as he did on their conditions; and the fact that they should not be locked up for being the way the Maker made them. The longer we spoke the more intrigued I found myself at this man, this apostate healer mage. He had an appearance of once being a flamboyant character, with his brightly colored coat and feathered pauldrons much nicer than the average mage robes. But he was a very caring individual, driven to see his fellow mages free. I had to admire that, well...him...ok both. We parted ways after he instructed us to meet him at the Chantry at nightfall. We would be meeting Karl (Anders friend) there and we were to assist in case any Templars came to intervene. I sighed as we headed to the Hanged Man to wait for nightfall thinking back and shaking my head at my girlish behavior. Varric picked up on this and nudged me, interrupting my thoughts.

"So Hawke, I see you have a thing for handsome troubled men." He winked at me and I sputtered, flushing scarlet all over again. I tried to play cool.

"I have no idea what you're talking about Varric." He laughed, damn that dwarf...he may be one of my best friends in all of Kirkwall...but some days I could just...ooh. He interjected into my thoughts again.

"Ooh you know you, well especially you of all people Hawke, cannot lie to me. I have eyes and I saw what happened when you laid eyes on him. You flushed like a virgin on a pirate ship." And apparently Isabella had been listening into our little conversation, because she felt the need to interject her two cents worth.

"Its true sweet thing, I've seen a virgin on a pirate ship before and I think you would have given them a run for their money in the blushing category." I punched her in the arm causing her to grimace and shoot me a dirty look. Varric laughed, but continued his assault on my pride. Well what little I had left anyway.

"So you have a thing for the underdog, I get it Hawke, just be careful. If this Anders ends up sticking around we don't need a full blown war for your affection going on. I don't think Broody could handle anymore angst." They all burst into laughter at my expense...which was becoming a regular thing. If they kept it up I was going to be stuck in a permanent shade of red.

"I'm pretty sure that would never happen Varric. Knowing me they'll end up fancying one another and forgetting I even exist. So, no worries. Now can we drop this while I still have shreds of my pride left and get some dinner. I'd like to have a full stomach for once without having to worry about losing it after a battle with some raiders." They all chuckled, and I couldn't help but join in; Merrill looking somewhat lost but still managing to enjoy herself. We sat at Varrics usual table in the back enjoying our meals and a pint of what the Hanged Man attempted to call ale, and waited for night to fall.


	13. Chapter 13

Sorry that it has taken me this long to get this chapter out everyone. We've been having some serious family issues that have prevented me from having the opportunity to continue, and with those wrapping up I'm hoping to get through at least Act 1 within the next few chapters.

This chapter in particular, as well as some of the following are going to paraphrase some of what is happening for the sake of my sanity as well as the flow of the story. This is Hawke's journal were reading after all, in case some of you have forgotten, so paraphrasing and liberties are allowed. Its a little different from my usual way of writing this story, but for now it was the only way I could find to push through the insane amount of writers block I've been experiencing, so please hang in there with me.

I want to thank all of you who have stuck it out so far and are rooting for me to continue! I couldn't have done it without you guys.

And now without further ado...Fire & Ice chapter 13: The Chapter in which everything gets really crazy!

Alice smiled as she set the journal in her lap, remembering back to those moments. Seven years, she couldn't believe she had been in Kirkwall for seven years. Time seemed to have flown by, and so many things had happened; both good and bad. She sighed, reaching to pick up the bottle of wine she had set on the desk, and took a swig. She chuckled when she heard the commotion coming from downstairs, it seems someone was having a wrestling match with Cookie in the foyer again. She smiled, picked up the journal again and began to read once more.

Night had finally fallen and we all decided it was time to head for Hightown, and our meeting with Anders at the Chantry. We had spent the evening enjoying our meal and speculating on some of our companions more 'personal' traits, that conversation being pursued more by Varric and Isabella than Merrill and I. Although I did get drawn in every now and again. We rose from our table and headed for Hightown. We walked in companionable silence, Isabella and Varric butting in with a few jokes here and there, and without running across much trouble. We made it to the Chantry and found Anders waiting outside. He greeted all of us, filled us in on what information he had, and we made our way through the doors. What we found once we were inside was not a happy sight...

Alice set the journal back down sadly. This entry was just another one that reminded her of all the death that had surrounded her life. She sighed remembering the look on Anders face when they found Karl, tranquil. Anders had been furious, and proceeded to cut down at least a dozen Templars without so much as blink. This was also the first time Alice had met Justice. Justice was an entirely new thing for her, she had never met a spirit being a warrior and not a mage, let alone one that had merged with a human; it was a jarring experience to say the least. She remembered every single second of that experience, and always would. It was one of those moments where through one of her companions strife they became one of her family; Anders not being excluded from this. She remembered the look on his face when he had ended Karl's life, the merciful choice instead of forcing him to live the remainder of his life as a Templar puppet; void of any emotion. She remembered his haunted face as he fled from the Chantry that night, and she remembered exactly what happened after she ran after him, worried for his safety, and his sanity. She looked down at the journal resting in her lap and skimmed over till she found what she had written about when she had found Anders back at his clinic, and settled back in to read.

I couldn't believe everything that has just happened. I followed Anders after we had found out that his friend Karl had been made tranquil. I had Varric and Isabella take Merrill home, believing that appearing by myself would seem less threatening, and I told them that I would meet them after I had spoken with Anders. I didn't know what to think about his little 'outburst' and I had to get to the bottom of it. I found him pacing his clinic looking harried. I approached him and he proceeded to explain to me about who/what Justice was and how they came to be one entity. I could understand why he had done what he did, in order to save his friend, and I could not fault him for it. I would have done the same in his situation, I knew that much. We talked for awhile, and he gave me the maps as well as offering his services anytime I may have need of them. I had tried to invite him to join us at the Hanged Man, not wanting to leave him alone to his grief, but he declined saying he had some things he needed to take care of. We parted ways, with me promising to visit within the next few days to see how he was doing. I left Darktown heading for the Hanged Man, and as I walked I was beginning to realize that I was in for some serious trouble. I had grown attracted to not only the white-haired brooding elf, but now the possessed gorgeous apostate...there was no way I could let Varric find out, he would never let me live this down. As I opened the door to the Hanged Man and locked eyes with the dwarf I affectionately referred to as my best friend...I knew that it was already too late, and I was in for one heap of a lecture when I sat down.


	14. Chapter 14

Finally! A new chapter has made its way out of my brain. I'm going to try and get a new chapter out once every 2 weeks, that should be manageable for me. I hope.

I have done things a little bit differently in this chapter and I will be introducing a new piece to how this story will be written (to be unveiled as the next chapter) and I hope you like it :).

I made my way toward my companions, Varric never breaking his eye contact. Yep, I was in trouble, there was a big heap of lecture coming from the dwarf, there was no escaping it. I took a seat at the table and both Isabella and Varric rounded on me. Isabella leaned in,

"Well Varric, I'd say our little Kitten has gotten herself into a bit of a snag, wouldn't you?" She had dropped her voice on the word snag, making it sound like the dirtiest, sex dripped word ever uttered, and I shot her a glare causing her to beam me a wide grin. Varric chuckled.

"I'd say you're right Rivani. The brooding elf and the blonde mage, now that is a difficult decision." Here he winked at me and it was Isabella's turn to chuckle. They were having entirely too much fun on my behalf and I opened my mouth to try and stop them but Isabella cut me off.

"I would just make a sandwich out of them, that would solve the problem entirely." She had this devilish grin on her face, and it was about that time that someone spoke from somewhere behind me.

"Who's your next unfortunate victim Isabella, maybe I can give them some warning so they have time to run." I jumped when I realized it was Fenris that had appeared behind me; and the 'cat who swallowed the canary' looks on both Isabella and Varric's faces made me turn so red I could have passed for a tomato. Isabella adopted her best sexy face and chimed in without missing a beat.

"Well I'm talking about you of course sweet thing. I'm just trying to come up with a plan to see exactly how far those tattoos of yours really go." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively and I watched as Fenris very uncharacteristically rolled his eyes and proceeded to take the seat next to me and order his usual bottle of wine. We all settled into a companionable atmosphere after that little mortifying conversation, which I knew wasn't over at least where Varric was concerned. I knew it was just because he cared and was worried for me, but sometimes I wished he would just let me figure it out on my own. We all stayed late into the night, with Aveline, Merrill, and Anders joining us. It was an opportunity for all of us to get to know each other better. I could tell that Anders and Fenris were going to be difficult to deal with if left in the same room for too long, and it was definitely obvious that they had already started to hate one another. So much for me hoping that they would make this easier on me. I spent the evening speaking to everyone, but taking extra care to make sure Anders was included. I knew we had a bit of intimidating group, and seeing as he wasn't joining us in the drinking aspect, I didn't want him to be frightened off by our particularly rowdy group. While Fenris and Varric were having a particularly intense discussion about slavers and their practices, Isabella and Aveline were calling each other names (their own particular way of saying they were indeed friends), and Merrill was lightly snoring with her head on the table having passed out earlier (I made a mental note to have Varric make sure she made it home safely) I made it known that I was worried about how he was perceiving our eccentric little group. He chuckled lightly.

"Oh you don't have to worry about me. Believe me when I say it was much worse when I was a Warden. You think you have a rowdy group this is nothing compared to Oghren and Elias. They used to get blind drunk and try and convince all of the female Wardens to put on a show in the middle of the dining room." He laughed at this, and I smiled.

"So you enjoyed being a Warden then? I had gotten the idea that you didn't enjoy it all too much." He smiled sadly.

"It wasn't that I didn't enjoy it, it...was more necessary than anything." He caught my puzzled expression and explained. "You see, I was on my seventh escape attempt from the tower..." And here my squeal of surprise stopped him and caused everyone to look over at us startled.

"You escaped from the tower seven times! How on earth did you manage this!" He chuckled at my shock, and everyone except for Fenris seemed to have their interest perked and listened in to his explanation.

"Yes, I escaped from the tower seven times. Now, mind you, not every escape attempt lasted very long. Some I was only free for a matter of hours, others I was free for a few days. I hated the tower, and I would have done anything to be free." Here he became slightly melancholy, but shook it off and continued. "But as I was saying, it was my seventh attempt. I had managed to slip past the Templars and had been on the run for a few days when I found myself thrown into the middle of a darkspawn attack. Elias Cousland, the Warden Commander, happened upon me and convinced me to join the fight with him and another Warden recruit. When the fight was over and new Templars came to take me away, Elias conscripted me to the Wardens to keep them from taking me. He saved my life, and for that I owe him everything. If he had let the Templars have me they would have killed me, or worse made me Tranquil. Life as a Warden was indeed better than death, but I just traded one cage for one of a different form. Until I...left...the Wardens I have never really been free." He looked so sad after he had finished, and I wondered at what kind of life this poor man had endured. I knew he hadn't seen servitude and abuse in the same manner Fenris had encountered, but to make him so sad it had to be his own kinda of hell. I felt for him, and my heart softened towards him even more. I wanted to know, and I was especially interested to know about Justice, but I wasn't about to bring up the subject. Not knowing if it was a touchy or difficult subject for him. I would rather he brought it up instead. Everyone had gone back to their conversations once Anders had finished explaining, all except Aveline who had gone back to the barracks for the evening. And I picked up our conversation, realizing it had momentarily lapsed while I had been lost in thought.

"I'm sorry Anders, I can't say that I understand what its like, because I don't. I am no mage, my sister is so it gives me an outsiders opinion, but I can say that I can partially understand having watched what my family has gone through to keep the Templars from finding us. No mage should be locked up for being as they are made, taught how to understand and control their magic yes, but not locked up and dehumanized." He seemed taken aback at this.

"I knew from the brief amount we had spoken earlier, that you understood and had pity for the conditions that mages are forced to endure, but I had no idea that you we're this...passionate about it." He had leaned forward while speaking and I had just realized how close our faces had become to one another. I flushed scarlet again, as I could feel the heat of some of my other companions on the back of my head, and I leaned back (in what I hoped had been a tactful manner) *I found out later that it looked more like someone had dropped a cat in a tub of water* and stood up. I realized by the look on Anders face that I had not so tactfully exited the situation, and quickly apologized saying that I had to excuse myself for the evening. Making up some story about not feeling well and needing to get some sleep. I said a quick goodbye to my companions, and made arrangements with Varric to make sure Merrill got home safely, she was still lightly snoring on the table although now she was covered in Varrics coat, and headed for home. I had to think about the evenings activities and sleep off what was sure to be one Maker blessed hangover.

Here Alice set down the journal and pulled out the piece of paper that had been tucked inside. She smiled appreciatively as she opened it. At different times during her years in Kirkwall her friends had taken it upon themselves to add "embellishments" to her journal, and she had just pulled out one such example. It had been written by Anders a few years after that first night at the Hanged Man, he thought it was only fair that he included his point of view to the whole situation since hers was already written down. She had no idea why her friends felt the need to read her journal, but now that things were as they are, she was glad they did, and that they had taken the time to add their own bits and pieces. She opened the folded piece of paper, and she began to read...


	15. Chapter 15

I couldn't believe it. One minute I was in my clinic doing what I had done every day since I arrived in Kirkwall, and the next minute she had come and turned my world upside down. She had come in looking for maps of the Deep Roads, which I had from some strange reason, happened to keep. I told her about Karl and how by helping me I would give her the maps, and to my surprise she had agreed to help. She had even seemed sympathetic about the plight of the mages when we had the opportunity to chat before she left until our arranged meeting time. After she had left I had time to marvel in the strange situation I now found myself in. Justice certainly didn't agree with my thoughts on the woman, he disliked anything that caused complex human emotion, which he didn't seem to understand. And he certainly couldn't understand my fascination with a complete stranger. She had walked through the door and it was like the sun had appeared in Darktown. She had eyes the color of fire, and hair like snow, it was an odd combination but one that would stick in my mind for as long as I live. I passed the time tending to patients and working about the clinic, thinking of Karl and this woman, Hawke was her name...a strong name, fit her perfectly. I found myself shaking my head, astounded at how one pretty face could turn me on end in a matter of minutes. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would be living a lonely life, Justice being my only companion, but there was something about her. I tried to push it to the back of my mind, focusing on the tasks at hand, and trying to will the day to ebb faster. When the time finally came I gathered my staff and a few necessary supplies just in case and set out for Hightown and the Chantry. The streets were pretty empty, so it gave me the opportunity to think. Something I had found myself doing a lot of so far today. I thought about Karl, how much he had really meant to me. We had been close for awhile, but now he was a very good friend. One of the only friends I had left, save for Justice. And now he was in danger, and it was all my fault. I was really hoping this Hawke woman would come through. I had to get Karl out of here safely, I didn't know what I would do with myself if he was hurt. He had put himself in danger to get information to me about our fellow mages, and look where it got him. Justice stirred uncomfortably in the back of my mind, unsettled by the waves of emotion running through my head. He tended to become uncomfortable when I relived old memories, especially personal ones. He was slowly beginning to learn how emotions work, but he was still having a hard time understanding them. I waited outside the Chantry in the shadows for what seemed like forever. There were few people on the street so it was easy to spot Hawke and her troupe when they entered the courtyard. She had the same people with her that had been with her when she came to my clinic earlier. They stopped in the middle of the courtyard, looking around. I stepped out of the shadows and waved them over. I told them what I knew, and we gathered ourselves and headed inside. What we found, was not what I had expected...I had expected to go in, rescue Karl, and find him somewhere he would be safe. Instead, I found Karl...tranquil. The Templars had found out, attacked us, and I had put Karl out of his misery. Justice was furious. We cut down the Templars that did this. Hawke and her team joined us, she urged me to help Karl; to put him out of his misery. I resented her at the time. But she was right, living tranquil was no way to live at all. The thought made Justice cringe, to be disconnected from the fade; and empty shell. It was a horrible way to live. We left the Chantry before someone came by and discovered what happened. I could tell that Hawke's companions were uncomfortable, Justice tended to have that effect on people. Hawke on the other hand just had this curious look on her face. I turned and bolted before anyone could ask questions. Justice was questioning why I had fled, I ignored him. He wouldn't understand my fear, my apprehension. I only stopped when I reached the clinic. That's where she found me, pacing, trying to get my thoughts in order. She was calm, calmer than I would have expected for someone who had just seen me and Justice at our finest. She leaned against one of the pillars while I explained, asking questions about Justice and I. Justice seemed uncomfortable about her questioning, but something about her prompted me to explain. She listened, and seemed intrigued, not disgusted as I had previously thought she would be. I gave her the maps as promised, as well as offering my help whenever she needed, much to Justice's distaste; and to my surprise she invited me to join them at the Hanged Man. In the back of my mind I really wanted to join, but Justice disapproved, so I declined. We said our goodevenings and she left shutting the clinic door behind her. I stood there staring at the door after she left, debating with Justice and myself. He was unhappy with how much I had told her, seeing as she was a complete stranger; but I felt she could be trusted. Her sister was a mage after all, an apostate mage at that. I wouldn't think that she would willingly expose her sister to the possibility of being caught just to turn me in. Against Justice's better judgment I decided that I would rather spend the evening with Hawke and her companions that alone in my clinic. So I headed off. I found them at a table in the back, they we're easy to spot being the loudest and strangest bunch of people in the pub. I made my way over, a little unsure of myself now that I was actually here, but the minute Hawke saw me she waved me over and had everyone scoot to make room. Introductions were made and everyone easily fell back into conversation. A few of her companions made me a bit nervous, especially the elf, but they seemed harmless enough. I declined offers of drink, comfortable to just be around people for once who didn't expect anything from me, or need my help. Soon I found myself in conversation with Hawke. She asked me about the Wardens, and life in the circle. I was even surprised to learn of her sympathy for the mages and their plight. But the entire time, all I could think about was her. She was such an intriguing and beautiful woman. Dangerous, but obviously compassionate. The way she spoke when she was talking about protection people, her face lit up. While we were talking I realized how close we had become to one another, both leaning in to speak when we were particularly engrossed in the subject. She seemed to have realized it too and jerked back, standing up quickly. She was flushed and made a quick excuse about not feeling well, and excused herself. She spoke to Varric and quickly exited the bar. Half the table looked at me like I was the worst kind of person, and had obviously done something wrong to scare her off. I honestly had no idea what had just happened, so I excused myself and headed back to the clinic to call it a night.

I was surprised when she showed up at the clinic the next day. I had honestly thought that night would be the last night I would see her. She apologized for exiting so quickly and we fell into easy conversation. She even gave me a hand around the clinic. Helping me clean up, mix potions, cut bandages, etc. She was an easy going person, but very deadly;and I could tell she was very strong willed in her morals. She erred on the side of morally right, fighting for the underdog. Which was bad for me, because it only made her more appealing. I was being drawn to her like a moth to flame, and that was a bad thing. I could only hope that I had the will to hold back.


	16. Chapter 16

So...I kind of let this story die a bit. Life got in the way and My brain couldn't keep up anymore. However, I think I'm going to try and revive it again. If you have stuck around and remained interested in this story...thank you, and I hope what I produce lives up to what I have already written. -Ash

Alice folded the piece of paper and stuck it back in its place, fondly remembering those first few months before the expedition. Her friends had in the years come to be more like family to her, and Kirkwall it seemed had come to rely on her and her small group of companions. She skimmed the next few pages, remembering the many tasks they had done over those months. From dealing with rogue crazy mages and templars, the Viscount and the Qunari, murderers and general craziness, Alice had thought they would have been too busy to make it to the Deep Roads expedition; but they had gathered enough coin to become partners. She found the point where she had recorded the details of the expedition and began to read:

We had done it! Between all of the crazy things Varric had come up with us to do, and people asking for our help, we finally managed to scrape together the money for the expedition. Batrand had no choice but to take us once Varric stepped in and pointed out that we had the coin that he so desperately needed, and now the time had come. I couldn't believe the time had finally come, but with Varric and Beth on either side of me arguing over where we we're going to enter the roads with the maps spread out on the cobblestones, and the rest of my companions milling around chatting with the hired hands and each other; it was really coming together. Bartrand was making some bad taste virginal joke, which made Isabella snigger and Varric roll his eyes, so I took a moment to breath a sigh of relief (after first making sure I stomped on Isabella's foot). This was finally going to be the real beginning of my family in Kirkwall, what Mother and Bethany had been working towards ever since we cleared the old manor of slavers. We we're going to make a name for ourselves, and I was finally going to be able to keep Beth safe from the Templars. Things we're going to be ok after this was over. I felt a nudge to my side and saw Varric grinning at me.

"Earth to Hawke...Think we lost you there for a minute." I jumped and he chuckled under his breath.

"Sorry Varric, I think you almost bored me to death for a minute, had to startle me to restart my heart." I chuckled as he glared at me. "Sorry Varric, lost in thought. What did you say?"

"Hawke, if you're going to keep making me repeat myself I'm going to have to start charging you for it. Now if I have your undivided attention, what I said was, Bartrand is only going to let us bring four companions with us on the expedition. Now Bartrand has agreed that you do not count but apparently I do, so we need to decide which three we are taking with us."

It was Beth's turn to elbow me.

"You're taking me with you right? I know Mother won't approve, but I want to go, you can't leave me here." I sighed, and just as I was about to open my mouth I heard someone running into the courtyard. I turned around just in time to see Mother pushing her way into the middle of the courtyard.

"Aliceira! Bethany!" Mother spotted us and rushed over, clutching at my arm. "Thank the Maker I found you before you left and took my baby with you! You cannot seriously be thinking of taking Bethany with you on this crazy expedition, can you!?" I could feel Beth tense beside me, and I rubbed the back of my neck in frustration. I knew Mother was going to be difficult, but couldn't she handle this outside of a public place. I took a breath to explain but Beth cut me off.

"Mother! I told you not to worry about me! Alice will take good care of all of us. She will never let anything bad happen. Right Alice?" I looked between her and Mother and sighed.

"Beth, you know I would never let anything happen to you, and Mother you should know that too." Mothers face fell from hopeful to disappointed.

"Aliceira. You are going to take my Bethany away from me just like Carver! How could you! You can't take her with you into that place. If you do I could never forgive you." The courtyard was so quiet you could hear my sharp intake of breath and Bethany's gasp. Beth took a step towards Mother, and I almost thought she was going to slap her.

"Mother! You know it wasn't Alice's fault that Carver was taken from us. And as for me I can take care of myself! If I wish to go on this expedition you cannot stop me. Alice you will stand behind me, wont you sister?" I took a deep breath. I really didn't know what to do. If I take Bethany, Mother will never let me live it down. Did I live with another Carver situation and let Bethany resent me forever, or make Beth happy and incur mothers wrath. Apparently my internal monologue had taken too long and now Beth and Mother we're arguing back and forth at top volume. I rubbed the back of my neck and glanced at my companions. They we're all trying to look occupied, but I knew they we're watching. Bethany was shouting something about how she would rather fight Darkspawn than hide from the Templars, and I knew it was time to intervene.

"Beth, Mother, enough." I stepped between the two of them and they both huffed. "Mother, Beth is a grown woman and should be allowed to make her own decisions." Mother opened her mouth to argue, but I held up my hand to stop her. "Beth is grown and should be allowed to make her own decisions, however, I do not think that the Deep Roads are a safe place for her." The shove to my shoulder took me by surprise and it took me a second to regain my balance. I looked at Bethany and could see the anger in her face.

"Alice! How could you! I've worked with you, along side you, to earn this money, and now you're just going to leave me here!" I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks. I knew she was going to be angry, but I had to do something to keep her safe.

"Bethany. I know you are angry with me, but I have to be sure you are safe. I couldn't keep Carver safe, but I will do everything I can to make sure you are. You may hate me for this, but if it means your safety, then I will do what I have to." The glare coming from her was almost enough for me to change my mind, but when she saw I wasn't going to change my mind, she turned on her heel and stormed off towards Lowtown. I was fairly sure the back of my neck was going to be completely raw before we even made it into the deep roads, but I turned towards Mother when I heard he sigh of relief.

"Aliceira, I knew you would do the right thing. Maker be with you, and keep safe, but I better catch up with Bethany before she does something." And with that my Mother left us to our business. Varric cleared his throat from somewhere behind me.

"Well, your Mother is quite the charmer Hawke, and as much as I love a good bit of drama we better get going." I shot a halfhearted glare in his direction, a heaved a big sigh.

"Yea, yea Varric I know. Fame, fortune, ladies to ogle your chest hair and all that awaits us." He chuckled as I turned towards the rest of our companions. "Fenris, Isabella, Anders grab your stuff we're heading out in the hour." Fenris nodded and walked off to gather his things, as did Isabella, but Anders stood by and looked at me a bit apprehensively. I could see there was something he wanted to say so I took a few steps toward him.

"Is something on your mind Anders?" He looked down at his feet and kicked some dirt off the toe of his boot before he said anything.

"Well Hawke...I know I said I would go with you to help, its just...I don't know if I can. The Deep Roads for a Warden is not a happy place, and the thought of being underground is...terrifying..." He trailed off with a shudder, but picked up again. "I mean, I'm going with you don't get me wrong, but I just thought I would warn you that I may not quite be myself." He stared at the ground again, fidgeting. I let out a low chuckle.

"Anders, you don't have to worry. I know this was a lot to ask of you, but we need you. Your gifts as a healer are something we really need on this expedition." I nudged him on the shoulder, "Your gifts as a Grey Warden are just a bonus." He let out a small chuckle.

"Hawke, you are such a charming flatter. I will go and gather my things and will be ready to go within the hour." He turned to go, but I touched his shoulder.

"Anders, I hope you know I wouldn't have asked you if we really didn't need you." He smiled and nodded.

"I know you wouldn't Hawke. I will see you in an hour." And with that, he turned and walked away.


	17. Chapter 17

It was finally time. No more odd jobs, no more working for scraps, no more being other people's errand boys.  
>We were on the edge of greatness, and nothing was going to stop us now. We all came together at the end of the<br>hour, armed and supplied to the hilt, ready for anything that we may encounter. Isabella and Varric seemed excited  
>chatting easily as we traveled, Fenris was apprehensive as ever wary of all of the people in the group around us<br>ever vigilantly on edge. Anders however, wouldn't stop fidgeting obviously uncomfortable but trying very hard  
>to hide it. Every time we made eye contact I felt more and more guilty. I wish I had been strong enough to bring<br>Beth, her skills as a healer would have done just fine, but mother had to stick her nose in and make me feel  
>guilty for everything yet again. And now Anders has to pay the price, we were nowhere near the entrance Bartrand<br>had chosen and already I could feel his apprehension at entering his own personal hell again. But now was not the  
>time for guilt, I would have to find a way to convey how sorry I was to him later, for now I have to be strong...<br>for all of us. This was not going to be an easy task no matter how simple Bartrand seemed to think it was. I had  
>to shake my head, attempting to clear my mind of the chaos swirling about. Varric seemed to take notice and chose to<br>finally speak up.

"Something bothering you Hawke?" He had excused himself from Bella (who seemed to think tormenting poor Fenris  
>was a better use of her time anyway, the poor bastard, and I made a mental note to chastise her later)<br>and sauntered over to walk at my side.

"Bothered? Me? Nooooo. I'm on my way into a likely death-pit with my bestest friends. So no, nothing could  
>be bothering me." Varric chuckled and nudged me with his shoulder.<p>

"Don't be so ridiculous Hawke. Were going to be fine, quick trip into the Deep Roads, treasure and wealth beyond  
>imagination, and back to the surface for a few drinks and a lifetime of posh spending." It was my turn to chuckle<br>as I glanced sideways at him nudging him back with my hip.

"I wish I could have your optimism Varric, but I just can't seem to shake this feeling..." and here I trailed off  
>not quite knowing what to say anymore. I could vaguely hear varric let out a low half sigh half chuckle under his<br>breath.

"Hawke, this wouldn't have something to do with having to bring along both Blondie and Broody would it?"

Once again Varric in all of his observant nature had seen right through me into the core of what was really  
>bothering me. Usually I found this irritating, but right now it was nice to know that I had someone I could<br>talk to. Ease the chaos if it were.

"Once again Varric my friend, you have seen right through me. Are you sure you aren't a seer...soothsayer...  
>you aren't one of those impossible Dwarven mages are you!? Are you reading my mind!?" My voice had risen a bit<br>louder than a normal conversational tone, but not to a shout as to not clue everyone into the little joke, but enough  
>to make it believable. I could see Anders crack a small smile, the first I'd seen since we left, and Bella and Fenris<br>looked over, Bella laughing lightly before shouting "You tell him Hawke!" and returning to her torment of poor Fenris.

Varric looked up at me almost incredulously, but finally he cracked one of his wry smiles.

"Shhhh...don't tell anyone or they'll lock me up and perform all kinds of tests. Oh the tests...they'd have to  
>shave my chest hair!? My dignity would be lost forever! What would the women say!? I would be the laughingstock of Lowtown!"<br>We were both laughing at this point, and it felt good to have a bit of light heartedness in the air instead of the guilt and dread I had been carrying since the beginning. We continued on in silence for a bit before I felt Varric nudge me again.

"But seriously Hawke. What is bothering you, talk to me." I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck for the 'I  
>don't know how manyith' time, before looking down at Varric.<p>

"Honestly Varric, I'm not quite sure. I feel like I shouldn't have brought anyone else along with us, least of all  
>poor Anders, and then adding the tension of having Fenris and him in the same space for weeks on top of it. I don't<br>know what in the name of the Maker I was thinking...this was a bad idea, I'm sure of it...theres no way they can  
>exist in the same space for that long...they'll fight and I'll end up in the middle of it, and I'm confused enough as it is<br>and that will do nothing to help me at all. And between the way you and Bella tease me all the time, this is just no place  
>for figuring this out...I should have brought Merrill instead, hell even Aveline would have been better. Damn her and her<br>sense of duty... I just have this feeling that this was a bad idea, and I don't  
>want anyone to get hurt because of me. I wouldn't be able to forgive myself. Maker damn me and my big mouth." I looked down, realizing I had said more<br>than I had intended, not to mention started rambling aimlessly, and tried to distract myself by kicking the toe of my boot absent mindedly in the dirt, refusing  
>to look anywhere but Varric. He had stopped walking a few steps back and I could feel him staring daggers into the back of my armor, it was an uncomfortable feeling<br>knowing that I had just unloaded so much this soon into the expedition. Hell we hadn't reached the Deep Roads yet and I was already loosing my mind. That had to be  
>reassuring. I could hear Varric's footsteps at my side once again and was pulled from my thoughts when he cleared his throat.<p>

"Hawke, it is all going to be ok. We are all adults here, we know that this could be very dangerous, but we are all here of our own accord. No one forced any of us,  
>we are here because we want to. That goes for Anders, Fenris, and Isabella as well. Do you really think they would be here if they didn't want to be?" I mulled over<br>what he had said for a moment before shaking my head no. "Good. Everything is going to be ok Hawke, I promise. And maybe it would help ease your conscience if you go and  
>talk to Blondie...hell he may appreciate it too. Go... talk to him. It will help both of you, I know it. As for me I should probably go and pry Isabella off of Fenris<br>before he tucks his tail between his legs and hightails it back to Kirkwall as fast as he can run."

He jogged ahead to catch up with Bella and Fenris, leaving me to ponder what he had said. Was he right, was I just being ridiculous? Should I really bite the bullet and just talk to each of them in turn? Finally realizing that this was probably the best course of action I headed off to the cart in which Anders had situated himself. I figured starting with him might ease my mind the most seeing as he was the one I felt the guiltiest about. I found him tucked between the supply bags, head in his hands which were perched on his knees. He looked up when he heard me approach.

"Hawke, what is it? Are we almost there." Scanning his face I could tell that he was trying to brush off the dread that clearly hung about him. I felt the pang of guilt pull at me again. I pushed the feeling down as I wedged my body into the space across from him wrapping my arms around my knees.

"No, were not quite there yet, we most likely wont be there for a day or two, we will have to stop and make camp sometime before dark." He nodded rubbing his hand across his face, he looked weary and I couldn't help the thought that it was because of me and this Maker be damned expedition. I sighed gathering my courage before continuing, "I just wanted to make sure you were ok. I know how hard this trip is going to be for you, and I wanted to make sure you knew how much I appreciate you coming along..."I tapered off unsure of where to continue, there was so much I wanted to say but I didn't know how to say it...or even if I wanted to. I valued his friendship, and Maker knows I care about the man, and I did want/and wasn't going to allow this damn expedition to come between us if I could help it. I heard him sigh and I looked up meeting his eyes for the first time since I had made myself 'comfortable'.

"I will be ok Hawke, I promise. It will just take me a little while to prepare myself. The Deep Roads is not a pleasant place for anyone, least of all a Warden. Please do not worry about me Hawke. I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be, I know you know that. Don't worry about me Hawke, we will be in and out before you know it." At some point he had leaned forward and placed his hand on my knee. The sheer 'closeness' of the whole thing was almost enough to send me running out of the cart, but I remained seated. I nodded and we fell into a companionable silence, enjoying the last few hours of being above ground. For soon we would be in the Deep Roads, and the fear of the unknown was the least of our worries, we had just failed to figure it out yet.


End file.
